1 10 2 https://archivesoralhistories.csusm.edu/files/original/2ec9076e1d55c0a2899af8cdc2860b9a.pdf 7ee6f12c111c3a0a9ea3acd52a996909 PDF Text Text SARA SHEIKH-ARVIZU TRANSCRIPT, INTERVIEW 2023-03-30 Michael De Maria: My name is Michael De Maria. I'm a graduate research assistant here at CSU (California State University) San Marcos with Kellogg Library’s Special Collections Department. I'm joined here today by Sarah Sheikh-Arvizu. The date is March 30th, 2023, and the time is 10:36 A.M. So today we're going to be focusing on Sarah's involvement with the Cross-Cultural Center, especially as it pertains to her stint as the Associate Director of Programs at the Cross-Cultural Center. So Sarah, thank you for joining me today. To start things off, I actually wanted to take things back a little bit. My first question is more about your background in the field, and I wanted to know when you decided to make social justice a focal point of your career. Sara Sheikh-Arvizu: I, it's a great question. Thank you. I'm happy to be here and be part of this project. For me, you know, to get-- jump right into your question, I wanted social justice to be the center of my work and my work life, since I was in college. I, there's a training that stood out to me. When I first became a student staff member on my own undergraduate campus. I was gonna be starting working in housing, and there was a diversity training which feels so regular and normal now, that's just part of what training involves. And it was at the time for me as well. But there was something that happened in that training that I felt like, “You know, I wanna be in this work and I want to do better.” I, it was a training that was focused on race, and what happened was they asked us to split up into two different spaces. A space for white folks and a space for folks of color, and I being mixed race, and there was about five or six other folks also, all sort of like walked up to the people who were facilitating, who were not directly our staff members, as another organization who came in to do this training, and asked “Where do we go? We don't fit into either one of these spaces.” And for us, we were looking for an answer and also validation. We were also offering to create our own space and asking if we could do that. And we weren't given permission to do that. We were told to choose one of those spaces, and that was a choice that I feel like I shouldn't have been asked to make. None of the five or six of us should have been asked to make. And honestly, I didn't want other folks to have to choose something like that in their experience on a college campus. So that really was like the moment that I wanted to be part of social justice work. It was honestly that moment in college. De Maria: Very, very interesting. And from then on, what sorts of organizations or activities did you involve yourself in, to kind of further that goal? And then also where did you attend undergraduate studies? Sheikh-Arvizu: Yeah so, my undergrad was at UC (University of California) Irvine, and other things I got involved with, some of it was just about learning for me. So, some of the things I got involved with were taking classes that were in gender studies, queer studies, and just learning more about what else was going on, right? Learning more about how we socially work together? You know, what does oppression look like? And kind of exploring and unpacking that. I think for me, other spaces that I was trying to get connected to and involved with was the LGBTQ Center on our campus. And so, I did a(n) internship there, connected to research. That was what my program, it was a requirement of my program as well, but I chose that as the place to do my site study. And then, and then just creating those spaces. So I, beyond my undergrad, the other places that I sought to be connected, education was always really important to me. And so, whenever I attended conferences as a professional, that was, I really focused all of the sessions I went to on learning more about folks that were different from me, had different identities than myself. So, I was drawn to topics about transgender students. I was drawn to topics Transcribed by Michael De Maria and Aaron Williams 1 2024-01-25 �SARA SHEIKH-ARVIZU TRANSCRIPT, INTERVIEW 2023-03-30 about equity and how to measure and set out plans. So, like my (laughs) and my interest was wide. I wanted to, I tried to attend a lot of panels where folks were kind of sharing their stories or insight or, advice as it related to their identity. It was something that I felt like I needed to hear, but I also felt very validated in hearing those stories and really taking those on as something like, they were not my stories to take on, but they were the knowledge from what people were sharing I could take on and I could apply in other ways. De Maria: That's very, very profound, and look, talking about your background, I also know that you have your masters. Of course, you are quite educated, and you've emphasized a lot about the learning aspect of social justice and being a participant that way. So, I wanna shift gears here and start talking about your professional career, post education. I know that you were also a program coordinator at Chapman (University) prior to joining the Cross-Cultural Center. So, I just wanted to walk you through, or walk me through some of the major projects that you led there. Sheikh-Arvizu: Yeah. (clears throat) Excuse me. Yeah, so I was at Chapman. That was my first professional job outside of undergrad and graduate school. And so, some of the projects that I focused on, so I was in the Office of Social Justice. So honestly, as a young professional it felt amazing to have a job where social justice was actually in the title of my position. I felt like it's what I was seeking. And what I found out when I was there was that they needed a lot of foundational work. So, something to really be a launching point for this Office of Social Justice. And so, what I did there was really try to figure out, “Okay, well what are the cornerstones of this office of the work?” And working directly with students to do that. For me, something that was a program that was well developed but was handed kind of, I don't know whether to say back to me or quote unquote my position or handed to me to lead, was a Safe, the Safe Space Training Program. So that was a program that I was kind of gifted. And for me, I wanted to expand it, expand the reach of that program, expand the depth of what that program could offer, with regard to training and education and visibility. And so, that was a focus area of what I tried to develop. So, to increase the committee that was really working on the safe space trainings and initiatives. We added a train the trainer component so that there were more trainers on campus and it wasn't, you know, focused on just three people doing every training for the whole campus. You know, rotating through, over and over. And then we increased the number and the types of trainings that we offered. So it wasn't, it wasn't solely like a-- essentially at the time LGBT101; really going over definitions and some case study work and unpacking bias and things like that. (We) started to do more trainings in addition to that, which was, which was amazing. And then other foundational pieces of the Office of Social Justice. Some of the work that students really wanted to do was have these landmark programs where they could keep doing it and build from every year, which I thought was a great foundation-setter. So, some of the programs that I remember starting there and then doing a few times in my time there (at Chapman), was we called it Reel Justice, R-E-E-L. So focused on films, right? So, exploring social justice through films. It was a film week, and we were showing films that were not, that were kind of along the lines of a theme. And something that was really unique that I loved that our students put into this was connecting with-- at Chapman there's an excellent film program where students are developing and creating and directing their own, producing their own films. So that was part of the Reel Justice program. Transcribed by Michael De Maria and Aaron Williams 2 2024-01-25 �SARA SHEIKH-ARVIZU TRANSCRIPT, INTERVIEW 2023-03-30 Another one was a Peace and Earth Fair. So, it was also working with students who were in their student government, on a team called the Awareness Team. And so, they were also charged with doing programs that were more along the lines of awareness, raising awareness about justice was really the focus there. And so, they wanted to do a Peace and Earth Fair. And so, what was really cool about the way that they wanted to approach it, and they were kind of willing to explore was how do you align the purpose of the program with the process of the program? So, you know, if it's a Peace and Earth Fair and we're really focusing on earth justice, what kind of, what are we using? What are we, we're having tables out there, are we covering those tables with tablecloths? Are we covering them with something that we're gonna, you know, throw away? No! (laughs) So, really like going and going the extra mile to do research of, you know, how can we align this? How can we really show what this program is about in the way that we do it just as much as what's done. And then something that, two things that I was kind of proud of as well, that I think set the tone was starting to explore doing dialogue circles. So, something that I was hearing from more than more than a handful, particularly of white students, was saying, “I don't feel like I can be part of this conversation, this conversation about diversity, this conversation about equity, this conversation about social justice.” And my take is everyone can be part of this conversation and should be. And so, I created a dialogue circle that was really focused on opening space where folks could join, and be part of a conversation together. And it's really simple (laughs) in its, I don't know, in its purpose, was to just have this space. So, we put it out there, we collected people's schedules cause I didn't want schedules to be the thing that, you know, made people not able to participate in this conversation. We had a nine, it was like a nine or ten p.m. (laughs) dialogue circle that folks committed to, 'cause that's, those were the times that they were available and they were putting out there of like, “I wanna do it at this time.” And whew, as a non-student I was like, not exactly ready for a nine p.m. (laughs) dialogue. But that's when folks were available and wanted to participate. So, we did that and it really was just coming together in a circle, setting an intention and having this conversation where everybody was, could come and participate, and feel that sense of belonging to this conversation, belonging to this ideal of social justice. So those are some things that we tried to put together. I'm sure that there are more, but those are the ones that really stand out to me. De Maria: Very cool. And all of that sounds very foundational, so that's really awesome to hear. From that, I want to transition to discussing your involvement with the Cross-Cultural Center. Sheikh-Arvizu: Yeah. De Maria: So, I just wanted to ask, what led you to the Cross-Cultural Center at CSUSM, and why did you choose to depart from Chapman? Sheikh-Arvizu: Yeah, so the opportunity came about like any opportunity does. I wasn't necessarily looking for anything, but you know, saw something come through just on a, on a listserv (computerized list utilized by organizations to email advertisements). And so, I looked at it. Something that Chapman did not have at the time was a Cross-Cultural Center. There was no physical space. Even the Office of Social Justice that I was the program coordinator for, it was an office. It was my office with a door and a window, and that was it and my desk. So, there was no concept of that physical space. Community Transcribed by Michael De Maria and Aaron Williams 3 2024-01-25 �SARA SHEIKH-ARVIZU TRANSCRIPT, INTERVIEW 2023-03-30 looked very different, and ways to commune, to come together. It really was, you had to plan an event for people to come together. And so, I was really seeking to be in a space like that. Like the CrossCultural Center was named C3 at the time, (laughs) at Cal State San Marcos. And that's what I was seeking. There were, it was just a different kind of opportunity, a different way to build foundation and different kinds of opportunities as well. When I came in for my interview, you know I really was, I was taken aback in a very good way. Something that Dilcie (Perez), who was overseeing the (Cross-Cultural) Center and the Director of Student Life and Leadership at the time, something she wove into the interview, her interview with me, and I'm sure other candidates applying for the position was: “You know, we are a bit of pioneers here, so what does that look like for you?” And honestly, being asked that question just gave me a sense of there's opportunity here. There's an ability to have a vision, set a vision, and go for it. And I was really excited by that. I was excited that I was asked to think about that at an interview, not just when you know I, the day I started or whatnot. And that students were very much a center of the work. So, those things stood out to me. Different kind of opportunity and everything. Everything else that when people go for job interviews, all that excitement, energy that was there. De Maria: Very cool. And one thing that I'm kind of getting from our conversation is this theme of kind of laying down foundational work for others to build off of. Sheikh-Arvizu: Yeah. De Maria: So, that just gives me a little bit of insight about you and is also very inspiring. I want you to take me back to 2008 and just describe the social climate of CSU San Marcos at the time. I know that you're quoted in The Pride, the CSUSM newspaper, as kind of giving a little blurb about Facebook and the advent of social media with regards to organizing. And then, you also, or during that time, it was also the beginning of, essentially the beginning of the Obama administration. Sheikh-Arvizu: Right. De Maria: So again, just reiterating on the social climate of the campus. What was that like? What were you facing when you got into the role? Sheikh-Arvizu: Yeah, what was I facing when I got into the role? I think this is maybe less on the social climate, but also the professional climate that I was kind of stepping into as well. I think folks were feeling like: we're doing this work and it's not seen. And we're tired. It's so hard. We're not given, there's not a lot of resources and, or resources are hard to come by, you know whatever that looks like. And so, so I felt like there-- resources could be money, resources could be space, resources could be knowledge about, you know, what these centers could offer. So, a lot of different things when I say resources. And so, I think that there was a sense of, there's a lot of students who wanna feel like they belong, but don't quite feel like they belong. That's my sense of what the social climate, cultural climate really felt like. And I think in addition to that, there was sense of there's not enough of us, us in it. And again, there could be lots of definitions of “us.” There's not, there's not enough queer students, there's not enough students of color, there's not enough Black students specifically, to really feel like our voices are being Transcribed by Michael De Maria and Aaron Williams 4 2024-01-25 �SARA SHEIKH-ARVIZU TRANSCRIPT, INTERVIEW 2023-03-30 heard and seen and understood. And, you know, I love statistical data. And I also feel like stats are not everything. Because if you take stock, do a survey, do a you know climate some kind of climate survey, which we did, and the numbers come back; again just you know statistically, when a population is only one, two, three percent of the whole population or the everyone who took the survey, it's quote unquote not statistically significant. However, that does not mean that people's experiences are not significant. They most certainly are. And if we continue to move those experiences aside because they are not, quote unquote the majority, and as a group they never will be, because that's not the majority of people who are at Cal State San Marcos or so many places. So, I think that people were actually like feeling that. They were experiencing in real ways what, how we talk about data. I think that folks were experiencing that as people, right? They were feeling like they were not significant enough to the university or in their classroom. And I wanna balance that with, you know, it didn't mean-- there were a lot of folks that cared, but I think it was just a sense of like we're, we're here but people aren't listening, or people don't care. And we need change. And yet more people than quote unquote the “us” didn't see it. So yeah, that's what I feel like (laughs) the climate was. And I think for me as a professional, the other thing that I saw is that there were a lot of folks that were trying hard, I think that I said that at the beginning. They were trying really hard. They were putting a lot of effort in. And so for me, what I felt like I was seeing was all these individual spaces or people were trying really hard, but they weren't connecting. And so that is specifically what I came in feeling like, okay, this is what I wanna do (laughs). I wanna make some connections. I wanna work together. Because this sense of, if we all have this sense that we're not being, we're not strong enough or our voice isn't loud enough, or people aren't hearing us, or we know that we matter, but we don't feel like we belong, what can we do about that? And so, for me it was really important to start to make connections, work together, come together, develop programs together, (laughs) so that that voice is a collective voice. De Maria: I see. And thank you for kind of outlining the challenges that you faced stepping into the role kind of as it related to what I mentioned with the social climate. Sheikh-Arvizu: Yeah. De Maria: So, similar to my question about your experience at Chapman, I'd love to hear about some of your proudest accomplishments for the Cross-Cultural Center, that you were spearheading when you were there. Sheikh-Arvizu: Yeah. So, my time at Cross-- at Cal State San Marcos at the Cross-Cultural Center is like the little spark of my own candle that I feel like really continues to light what my professional career is, and it's because of the work that was done at San Marcos, the willingness, the people coming together. So, one of the programs that for me, I did have a vision for and also wanted folks to come together and envision together was the Social Justice Summit. And I know that it looks different now, as it should (laughs). It should not stay stagnant. That was never the intent. And however, but that's setting the foundation for having a multiple-day overnight retreat to talk, to unpack what social justice is, to unpack what the cycle of oppression and socialization look like, how it affects us, what we can do. That's what that program is about. And so for me, that was a program that I, like I said I had a vision for, but I Transcribed by Michael De Maria and Aaron Williams 5 2024-01-25 �SARA SHEIKH-ARVIZU TRANSCRIPT, INTERVIEW 2023-03-30 wanted folks to come together and have this vision together and expand. It wasn't just about my vision. So, I worked with, at the time Rodger D’Andreas, who was the Director of the LGBTQ Pride Center. And I believe at the time briefly, he was also overseeing the Women's (and Gender Equity) Center, which I know is differently named now. Do you know what the name of that center is, Michael? De Maria: I, I—(interruption) Sheikh-Arvizu: It's okay if you don't! De Maria: I cannot recall it off the top of my head, unfortunately. Sheikh-Arvizu: That's okay. So, we'll just continue to call it the Women's Center because that's what I knew it as at the time. And, then other folks on campus and students coming together and saying, “Hey, this is this thought. What do you think? How can we do this? When can we do this? What would it look like? Let's develop essentially the curriculum.” And so, it was a-- people liked it. They wanted to be a part of it. They wanted to come, they wanted to be part of the committee, (laughs) they wanted to come. It was a great success. It was like one of those things where I feel like we were able to read what the social climate was and actually meet a need that was there. The need to come together, the need to know and see and understand that we weren't all alone. That there is actually a community that cares about a lot of these same things. And then this other piece of, now all of a sudden we had more language, we had more examples we had, and I say “we” cause I think that that is the important part. That was the important part, was that (clears throat). Excuse me. Folks did feel like a “we,” felt like there was a community. They could come together. So Social Justice Summit, and quickly I knew that, okay next year when we do this, we need to have student facilitators. It's not just about all of the staff and faculty coming together, teaching students. That's what, that's what happens every day in the classroom. But to have this kind of co-model of students and staff and faculty coming together to lead sessions, to lead dialogues, to conduct training together, conduct this Social Justice Summit together. And so, we started doing that as well the next year and just continuing to have a vision for what could be the future all the time. So that was a program. Something that was incredibly important to me was working together with other social centers, and to talk about what is this? What does social justice look like? Because if we're, if we're not working together then we're only really focusing on one kind of oppression. And when oppression, when one of us are affected by oppression, we all are. And there's not just one type of oppression. So I was, I feel so lucky that the professional staff and the student staff were so willing to come together. To come together to do trainings together, to come together to do programs together. Cafe La Paz was a program that came together where we opened one of the centers a week (at night). And that sounds kind of like, so what? (laughs) But it was really important because no center was open late at night. There was no space open at night for students. Now there's a student center (University Student Union) and it probably looks different. I'm imagining it looks different. I have been on campus, not at night though, since but it, the vibe is different now. But at the time, that wasn't the case. It was like five o'clock everyone's closed. And so, students were really saying, “We want a space to be, we're still here, we're still taking classes, or we're waiting for our next class. Like, but you're closed.” So, we tried to do that. Transcribed by Michael De Maria and Aaron Williams 6 2024-01-25 �SARA SHEIKH-ARVIZU TRANSCRIPT, INTERVIEW 2023-03-30 Started with the once-a-week thing, and with the concept of rotating the center that was open so that again, this idea of community could continue to grow. So, Cafe La Paz grew out of that, that thought process. And it was a student run program. Professional staff weren't a part of it. We had a student from each of the centers who planned that week's or, oh gosh, I don't even know what time, I believe that week’s or that month's you know, Cafe La Paz was gonna be open late night. So, they planned what was gonna happen, what's the component from all three centers, what are we focusing on? What's the food, what's the, you know everything. So they really did that. And made sure that people showed up (laughs). And then for me, other things that... There's a lot of things that stand out, but for me, that central kind of line was making connections. So, making sure that faculty knew just as much about the Cross-Cultural Center and the social justice centers as staff did. That other offices did, that orientation did. And that we could start to be seen as a space where everyone was welcome. And that was really important to me. Again, back to that sense of, I started my career in social justice because I didn't feel like I belonged. And so, I wanted to continue to create opportunities and spaces where people felt like they could belong and connect no matter where they quote unquote were, right? On their own social justice journey. So, we did a trivia program and that came directly from (when) a student and I went to a conference. We heard a speaker talk about this idea of history and people of color having this history that's there, but it's totally, it's unknown in the U.S. (United States of America). When you, when you ask folks, you know U.S. history, anything about U.S. history, it's like this laundry list and it's all focused on the White center, right? And so, we were like, what would this, what would it look like if we started to actually know other kind, other histories that are not this list that everyone quote unquote knows and learns. Can we focus outside of the center? And so we did, we developed a (laughs), a multicultural trivia program. Again, it was meant as a thing of like, how can we connect? If folks don't want to come together, go to a Social Justice Summit for three days, that's not their thing, but they wanna do some trivia. Let's go it, let's do it. Right? So just trying to meet people in the space that they want to be in, or that's intriguing to them. And we did, we had some folks that came to trivia but never came to anything else. And that is totally fine because what we gained from that is someone who's still connected, still saying, “Oh this is important to learn. I'm excited to learn this because I'm showing up. And I have pizza, both.” (laughs) I think sometimes we, like in my profession in higher ed, when I was working in higher ed, we focus on the food a lot, a lot, a lot. And I actually think that the program stood on its own without pizza because people still participated. They didn't just show up for pizza and sit there and eat their pizza. They came, they got some pizza, they participated in the program. And really got into it (laughs). And we had zero prizes. It was a clap, like, “Yay, team four, you did it! You were the winners.” That's it. That's all you got. So it was really just like the experience of being there, coming together, having this fun, fun lunch. Which was very cool. De Maria: Very cool. So, just my takeaway from hearing about those programs, with regards to the summit in particular, it sounds like you were making a big impact on an issue that was more of a qualitative nature or difficult to quantify. And that also kind of shines through with the other examples of Cafe La Paz as well as those, that trivia program. In our introductory call, you also mentioned to me the importance of the student staff kind of being the lifeblood of the organization and providing tremendous assistance to you in a leadership position as well as other leaders. So, I just wanted to know Transcribed by Michael De Maria and Aaron Williams 7 2024-01-25 �SARA SHEIKH-ARVIZU TRANSCRIPT, INTERVIEW 2023-03-30 about some of the ways that you empowered your student staff, and maybe what that experience was like. Sheikh-Arvizu: Oh, I loved working with students. You know, my approach to empowering my staff was to listen. It was to open up the opportunity for them to think and explore and discuss and I always consider myself a yes person. I really like ideas. I love to see how an idea could turn into something real. And so, I really just encourage my staff to do the same. There are some moments with student staff that really stand out to me and I hope that folks will be okay (with) me talking about them. But having a staff member, this is prior to them being a staff member, 'cause it was an interview. Actually I have two interview moments that really stand out to me. But one was with a staff member in his interview and two of us interviewed him. We asked the questions and this student really struggled with the language. Was you know, (unclear) defining and using terms that we generally feel like is important. However, he had amazing experiences (and) connections. He was making these connections but did not have the terminology. So, it was like you know, the other person who did the interview was like, “I don't know, they don't seem like a good fit. They don't have this knowledge.” And I'm like, “Yes, yes. They have the knowledge. They have the knowledge because let's look back at all of these examples they were able to give. They are on point, they get it.” And I think that's what a lot of students are experiencing. They understand what's going on. They have the experiences and we can help put some of those words together. That's not a problem in my mind. And so, when I made the offer to this student, I think it was a little bit of a surprise 'cause I don't think that they thought they had a good interview. Because all things considered they didn't (laugh)! You know, like they stumbled through questions, all of that stuff. But, I think for me it was just being able to see something and then telling them, telling students like, “Hey, I see this in you. You talked about this. Tell me more about it. You mentioned this. Tell me more about that.” And just opening that space to get to know them, get to understand some of their experiences and what they wanted to do with that or how they wanted to make an impact. The other thing that I tried to do right away was make sure that all of the student staff, and if we had interns, anyone, anyone who was like working in some way, shape or form for the Cross-Cultural Center to open up opportunities for them to be elsewhere on campus, on committees. I had students chair committees and I had supervisors who were really nervous about that. And at times I was nervous about that too. But I felt like, “Okay, if folks are nervous about that, let's explore what the nervousness is about and also let's ensure that whatever they're nervous about isn't gonna happen. And even if it does, it's okay.” But just coming from the perspective of like, I just wanted to open up opportunities for students to be seen, to be heard, to have a voice, to lead. And essentially that's it. Because I really like ideas. We also shifted to a new space (laughs) during my tenure. And so, with in that move it allowed us the opportunity to say, “Oh, let's look around. What is this new space we're in? What could it be?” And it really was working with them on defining what it could be. And so, I think when they experienced that, what their thoughts were, their ideas mattered, and we-- and they could actually see it happen. Then to me they felt empowered to do more, to do differently, to take risks to also see themselves as leaders. And that, to me was the point. De Maria: That's very cool. (both laugh). Kind of going off of that, I mean, obviously we've been talking about your experience at the Cross-Cultural Center in depth. But in your own opinion, or in your own words, what was your favorite memory? Transcribed by Michael De Maria and Aaron Williams 8 2024-01-25 �SARA SHEIKH-ARVIZU TRANSCRIPT, INTERVIEW 2023-03-30 Sheikh-Arvizu: Favorite memory? Well, you know, I left-- there's two and one is (a) very tiny moment, but it has significance to me. And one feels like a big thing. I was driving home after the first Social Justice Summit. I'm a complete introvert. So being with people, I have to focus a lot of attention and energy to really be present. And I was just at a three-day retreat with, you know, fifty people (laughs). So, I'm driving home by myself. I have the windows rolled down, no music because I cannot handle more like input after the weekend. That I was like thinking and saying to myself in my quiet car, “That was amazing! And there's so much we could do with this program in the future.” Like my, I know that I'm sharing a memory that was by myself, but it really wasn't the memory of me being by myself. It was the memory of this amazing program and the way that we as staff were able to shift in the moment based on what we saw, what we ha-- what happened, and the flexibility there. And then the students in watching their transformation in just three days of you know, there was an evaluation that I had read before I left as well. And it was like, “I did not believe. I did not believe that you were gonna pull this off!” Right? Like, that's the beginning of the evaluation. Like, I'm sitting in session, I was sitting in session one and I didn't think it was gonna go anywhere. And then they continued to write, and then this happened and this happened and this happened and this was a great experience. And I was like, wow! To both be able to write like this criticism of like, I didn't think this was gonna go well, to this really changed my perspective. Was (laughs) it was a great moment kind of collectively, individually. I feel like I'm not doing a very good job actually expressing what I was feeling about this, very awesome moment. But, that's where it was. I was like literally in my car, just processing this entire, the entire weekend in the moment. But then, in the processing also feeling, “Wow, I have so much energy and I have so much, there's so much more we could give to this program. There's more we can do.” And being excited to do that, even though it was gonna be a year later (laughs). And then another moment was small, like I said. Totally different person (laughs) interviewing, getting ready to interview, because they wanted to work for the Cross-Cultural Center. And he walks in, he has a shirt, a tie, and his baseball hat, which he always wore. And I was like, okay, this is awesome. I'm interviewing him. Well, later I find out that his peers coached him on how to interview. And that for me was the moment of like, it's a great memory because the community was taking care of one another. He was ready to walk in, in like a t-shirt that he wears every single day, which really, in a lot of spaces that's okay. But his peers were saying, “No, you gotta step this up. You know, this is an interview. It's different, it's different than just walking into the Cross-Cultural Center every day.” And at the same time, he wanted to be himself cause they were encouraging him not to wear his hat, but he kept his hat on. That was part of him. Someone else gave him the tie, right? Like this was literally all (laughs), the community was caring for one another in that moment. And so, I was just so proud of folks coming together and I was proud of him for keeping his identity as part of something that he wanted to be present at the interview. Right? So, I don't know, those were my two moments of like, it, they just really stood out for very different reasons. (laughs) De Maria: No, I completely get that. And I think, another challenge that we seem to be getting back to is the quantitative versus qualitative issue. Especially with subjects as profound as this, where people might not be represented. So sometimes that qualitative evidence is also very powerful to see in action. So that's super cool. Next, I wanted to, and again, previously you described your experience at the Cross-Cultural Center as kind of being the spark that fueled the rest of your career. So, this is again kind Transcribed by Michael De Maria and Aaron Williams 9 2024-01-25 �SARA SHEIKH-ARVIZU TRANSCRIPT, INTERVIEW 2023-03-30 of like an abstract question, but I wanted to know just how the Cross-Cultural Center helped you develop as a professional and further that journey? Sheikh-Arvizu: That's a great question. And also, I love abstract questions. (laughs) For me, I think part of me felt like I couldn't do it, be in that position, oversee and manage the Cross-Cultural Center. Because I had never worked in a Cross-Cultural Center before. And I had never been part of a student organization before (laughs). Particularly as it relates to, as it related to my identity. And so, part of me felt like, I don't know like I'm doing this work, but it kind of feels like I'm not doing this work. And at the same time, I also knew in my gut I could. It was just like fighting with my own perception of how other people might have perceived me, right? All in my head, but also all in my heart, right? Like, my experience as a person, as a human being, as a mixed-race person, as a queer person. I'm sitting in all these spaces where it's like, I don't often hear that I belong and I can do it. I could do this, I could do this thing that maybe it doesn't seem I'm really qualified for. And so, what the spark was, was I feel like I sort of came into my own power of I can do this and I don't have to be the center. I never really connected with this sense of a leader is someone at the front. They're taking the podium, they have the microphone, they can be seen, they are the first on the list for people to invite. Like I wasn't, I didn't subscribe to that kind of leadership. And so, I felt I could do my kind of leadership and I could also see other people's kind of leadership and say, “Do it! Do your kind of leadership, do it your way.” And I didn't feel I had to prove myself and say, “I am the center stage. This is my program!” No, it wasn't (laughs). I literally did not set structures like that where I was the one leading the program. I was the center. It really was let's do this together, or let me support you (laughs). It's not mine, it's yours. This is your idea. You carry it. Let's figure out how to do it. And, I think that what I learned was I could have a vision. I did have a vision for the Cross-Cultural Center and I could have that vision with other people. And I, that was really, really revolutionary to me that I could have a vision and we could have a shared vision together. And it didn't have to be so individualized. That does not seem like the rest of the culture around me, that does not seem like what it means to be in American society. And so I really held onto that. I still hold onto that, that sense of like, it's better when we do it together. It's better when we have a vision for this together. It's better when we can see our differences and learn what that means. Learn why things matter differently. Learn to take on perspectives that are different from you. So, it felt like I learned a lot during that process. It felt like I set a foundation for myself professionally, not just for that space, the Cross-Cultural Center as a space, as a community and things like that. I felt like I wanted to live what I said my values were. And that was the place that I feel like my alignment was really, really close. De Maria: Very, very cool. Going off of that line of questioning just about you as a professional, and kind of what you took from the experience, I know that you're currently working with OC (Orange County) Human Relations (Commission) on several projects. So, I just wanted to know how your experiences with Cross-Cultural Center influenced the programs that you're working on currently. And maybe what some of those programs are (both laugh). Sheikh-Arvizu: Yeah. Well, so I am a training specialist in Orange County Human Relations, (laughs). By the time this oral history project is done, we likely will have a different name as an organization (laughs). Okay. So it'll be a little bit obsolete, but that's okay. It is what it is. I, and I just started in my role. I was in Transcribed by Michael De Maria and Aaron Williams 10 2024-01-25 �SARA SHEIKH-ARVIZU TRANSCRIPT, INTERVIEW 2023-03-30 a different role prior. So, some things that I've done in the organization that I feel like do have a connection to Cal State San Marcos, and working at the Cross- Cultural Center; I'm training and I'm coaching folks on how to align who you say you are and how you do that work, right? So, we say diversity and equity and inclusion and belonging are all important to us and are important to us in our organization, are important to us in our school, our school district, or in our community? Okay! How do you do that? What does that look like? How do you measure that? Right? So, I feel like I asked very pointed questions right then like boom, boom, boom, right? And lots of times it's more gentle. It's, and also lots of times it's a lot of different kinds of questions. So, what I feel like is the connection for me, from (CSU) San Marcos is this idea of well, when you have a vision (you) have to be able to figure out how to put things in place, right? So, if we have the vision of, living in a community that values equity and enacts, that is an equitable place, then we need to do some hard work. And sometimes that hard work could be training, sometimes that hard work could be conversations and dialogues. Sometimes that hard work is assessing how hate and hate incidents and crimes are impacting our community. And that's all work that I feel like I'm touching or part of directly at Orange County Human Relations. And pulling community together I think is kind of the other theme. On a college campus community is, tends to be the college community or the community of students in particular. So, it's like this little bubble of, you know, built-in community. But working at Orange County Human Relations, that is not just built in. And, you know: timing, availability, interest, money, all of that. Funding, I should say, more than money. Right, all of that plays a role. And so, but still figuring out how do we come together and have a common vision. Literally just went through with a group on writing a mission statement (laughs). So, you know, creating that vision and also laying out how do we do this? This is who we say we are, how do we do it? De Maria: Very, very cool. I do have a few more questions left. And all of them are more about sort of the future of the Cross-Cultural Center and possibly social justice in general. But looking ahead, what aspirations do you have for future students who interact with the Cross-Cultural Center? Want to get involved? Sheikh-Arvizu: I feel like I would just want students to, to try it out. I mean community is really what we make it to be. And it's a we. So, if as a person, if right, if you're seeking community wherever you are, is where community can be. And it means, and it means stepping in, it means taking a risk. It means saying hi. It means going to a program. It means just seeing yourself there. That's all very abstract (laughs), but I think, you know, there's lots of places to connect and find community. You can connect and find community in the chem lab that you're working in, right? Or researching in or studying in. And, and I think for me, the Cross-Cultural Center is a different kind of community in that you can kind of go back and forth between exploring common interests and activities and also talking about how oppression, racism, sexism, identity, politics, how that plays a role in your life. And feel like oh, actually these other folks get it. I don't have to explain that much. And they're here with me for me. And, and we can eat fries together. It just spans so many different kinds of ways to connect. And I think, you know, if you're looking for multiple ways to connect, it's a great way, it's a great space! I would say any identity-based space is a great space cause it's like the opportunity to feel connected to other people, to other identities, to your own identity. And also potentially other things like music, food, we can go play sports Transcribed by Michael De Maria and Aaron Williams 11 2024-01-25 �SARA SHEIKH-ARVIZU TRANSCRIPT, INTERVIEW 2023-03-30 together, you know, whatever that is. Yeah, I think that everyone needs, that needs to feel a sense of validation. And for me, I think identity spaces, social justice spaces are spaces where that can happen. De Maria: I think that's beautiful. Sheikh-Arvizu: Are you okay? You this like—(interruption) De Maria: I'm complete. I'm completely fine. Sheikh-Arvizu: Okay. De Maria: Just very, very profound experiences that you're sharing with me that I really appreciate. De Maria: So, regarding my next line of questioning, I also wanted to ask you about what communities you feel might be currently underrepresented on our campus, or possibly bringing some attention to some underrepresented communities that you're currently working with. Sheikh-Arvizu: Yeah. Ooh, great question. I cannot possibly answer that question (laughs), because I'm not there and I have not looked, I've not really walked on campus. I haven't looked at any demographics at all again, like that like I can look at paper, I can look at numbers. However, I think that your last add in there to the question, like populations that I'm also working with you know. I think that... I, last year was charged with writing our hate crime report for the on behalf of the county and, something that I feel like were like central communities that were really impacted. And I personally feel like in the report, but I'm sure out of the report, beyond the report, the depth is much greater and could never be captured in a report. It was the Black community; so small, percentage wise, right? In the county. And I'm in Orange County right now so, the Black population is about two, sometimes three percent of the whole population of Orange County. But the number of hate incidents and crimes that are because of Black hate, right? Is completely disproportionate, is like exponentially disproportionate. And so really focusing on seeing that community other communities as well. I feel like numbers keep rising for anti-Asian hate and Latinx hate. I feel like numbers... numbers, incidents, experiences, uh, like a little snippet of like media also capturing this rise also in numbers and gravity of anti-LGBTQ hate, and anti-Semitic hate and like how that, that actually as a center for lots of different kinds of hate, kind of like, it looks like what it looks like to the eye. And folks maybe particularly not in the Jewish community where, it's like you could see a swastika and also the n-word both at the same time, right? Graffiti somewhere and it's like, so is that anti-Semitic? Is that anti-black? Like what is that? Whew. And unpacking that is like so much I think for folks, I don't think it's so much for the Black community or the Jewish community, or the Black Jewish community both, right? To unpack. But I think for a lot of other folks it's like, “What kind of hate is that? How do we describe it? Why? Why is this, what is this connection?” But it's really important that we do unpack it, we do explore it, we do start to understand what that means and why, and how it's progressing. It really scares me that we are in a time of, where in the country, that history is being removed, that literally people's histories are being removed, people's existence are being removed from curriculum. And that's really scary to me. That did not exactly answer your question, but I think for me there was a connection there. Transcribed by Michael De Maria and Aaron Williams 12 2024-01-25 �SARA SHEIKH-ARVIZU TRANSCRIPT, INTERVIEW 2023-03-30 De Maria: It did answer my question very thoroughly actually. So thank you. And I've got two more questions left to kind of wrap up the interview. But first I just wanted to ask you what direction you think the Cross-Cultural Center should grow in? Sheikh-Arvizu: Oh, also one that I do not feel equipped. So I was only there for like, two and a half years? Pretty small. And there, both on campus and with the Cross-Cultural Center, the Cross-Cultural Center is in a different space even than it was when I was there. I was there for two spaces and I was there to advocate for how much physical space the next Cross-Cultural Center should occupy. So, it is now in that space and now there are more identity spaces, more cultural spaces and centers. And for me, I think with the work that I'm doing now, it still has a collaborative communal coming together need. And I would hope that that's what's happening now too, for the Cross-Cultural Center, right? But there, that the Cross-Cultural Center, the students, the staff, are working with other centers and other spaces and other student organizations and there's connections. That's what I, that's what I, I don't know, future, future (laughs). But I think it's really important to come together. I think it's also really important to make statements, so people know that they're supported. And I think that this is not necessarily just about the Cross-Cultural Center specific space or leadership there; it's like a broader everywhere that we look to leaders in positional, with positional power, specifically with titles, right? Like presidents, vice presidents, you know, whatever the titles are directors. We look to them, we expect that, we expect to hear from them when something affects the community. And I would encourage that to happen. Right? The-- I am not criticizing anything at all. I'm just saying it should happen, period. If it is awesome, because hopefully what that means is that students feel like they do belong and there's, there's connection there. And they're safe. They're safe in who they are. They're safe in their identity, they're safe to be and belong. And so that I think is important. To take a stand, to say something, right? To say, “We care to say this is not okay here.” If there is hate or if there is, and I say “if,” and really I know that it happens. It's there. It is there, it's everywhere. So yeah, just making sure people feel like they matter, individuals and communities. De Maria: Totally. And wrapping things up, again you continuously kind of reference this process of learning, which is an extremely important part of understanding social justice and also participating in it. Whether that's learning about somebody else's culture, learning how to communicate about someone else's culture to them, or learning how to ultimately take a stand and become a voice in your community. With that being said, if someone were interested in pursuing a career in social justice much like yourself, what tips would you give them? Sheikh-Arvizu: Wow. I think for me, having that sort of like home-base community or people is really important. Folks that you can say, “Hey, this is happening and I don't get it, or I feel like I messed up,” or “What am I missing?” It's really important to have those people in your life! Particularly doing social justice work, because social justice work is hard and it is literally every day. It could be your, the, you know, quote unquote nine to five, like what you're doing during the day, and then you go pick up some dinner and somehow there's still some like quote unquote “social justice work” that needs to be done there (laughs). So it doesn't necessarily, there's not like a timeline like, oh, it's five o'clock, I'm not doing this work anymore. So I think to like have, have your people, whoever those people are, people that you can count on, people that can support you, people that can listen, people that can challenge you, people Transcribed by Michael De Maria and Aaron Williams 13 2024-01-25 �SARA SHEIKH-ARVIZU TRANSCRIPT, INTERVIEW 2023-03-30 that can show you a different perspective. And those people should not look like you. Not all of them, maybe some of them. They should-- and when I say look like you, I don't exactly just mean look like you, I mean look like you, think like you, have the same identity markers as you do, or if not like you like one kind of person, right? And to kind of do that inventory and see like what perspectives am I missing in my own life, in my professional life. I think don't be scared (laughs). Don't be scared to be the learner as much as the teacher or trainer or coach. Sometimes I feel like my career was like poking a stick. I was like, look at this (laughs, waves imaginary stick in air), right? Like, look at this thing, what's happening? And I wanted people to see, and you know what? There was certainly a place for that. There's a place for that in my career. I felt like the organization, you know, needed that at the time or different organizations, more than one, right? Needed to see what was happening! And I, what I appreciate now in my career too, and where I am, is that other folks can do that. I can still do that and it might look and sound a little bit different than it did when I was in my early career (laughs), in my career at Cal State San Marcos, where I could say, “Look at this! This is a problem!” And, or I could hear it from a student, I could say, “Then say that, right?” Like, you go do it. “Say that somewhere. Uh, your voice is powerful.” So I think like those lessons I, for someone who wants to get to get into social justice or stay, it doesn't mean you're not in a social justice like job career focus already, is to know your way, right? Know your power, find your power, explore it, see, you know, what works where. And it might be different tactics in different places, and I think it's important to test it out and to lean into other people, to um, you know, see if they could be more effective or more effective with you together. I think too that, you know, for a lot of folks it won't feel like social justice is the center of your work. It won't! You might be doing something else. It doesn't mean that you have to discard social justice or the idea or goal of equity. You don't have to toss it away. It can still be part of your work. There's a lot of like individual things that you can do. There's a lot of cultural things that you can do that, where it can still be central to the way you think about your work, to the way you approach your work, to the way you approach outside of the workplace. I'm now a parent. The way you approach parenting to the way (laugh). Like, I know for me, like what a mind-shift of like, oh, I value this in my work and in my life, but now I have a young human and they are doing things I did not expect! But am I doing things that I didn't expect with my values in social justice and equity with my values in listening and opening up space? Whew. That's hard (laughs). And it's hard, I know I'm framing it in this parent space, but also it's hard when you're in other workplaces again, where social justice might not be the center of the work that you're doing, but it's like, I'm in this organization and like I don't feel like I'm showing up as mys-- As the self I want to or I'm not being supported. Sometimes that means it's okay to leave. It is okay to leave! It's also okay to stay and challenge if that's what you have the capacity for. And you should, if you have the capacity for that or that's what drives you, then do it. Do it that way. If you do not have the capacity or it is a toxic environment, it is okay to leave. And continue your social justice work somewhere else in another space. It can look different. It's okay (laughs). It's not like you don't have to constantly struggle all the time or feel like you don't belong, or that you don't matter at all in a space that's not-- I mean those organizations need to change and do better and do different, but it doesn't mean that you have to be the, you don't have to bear the brunt of that work that they're not really ready to do. Transcribed by Michael De Maria and Aaron Williams 14 2024-01-25 �SARA SHEIKH-ARVIZU TRANSCRIPT, INTERVIEW 2023-03-30 I was all over the place with that (laughs), but the, the, the thought of a career in social justice is, like... my thought before my career began in social justice is very different than what my career has been. And so that's where I feel like I have a lot of different like, thoughts of what that can mean for folks. And it can be so different based on the person and your identities and the institutions that you are in. Right? And who even is your network of people, or what's needed in the organ-- in different organizations. I thought I was a great fit for other jobs. I was not. I was not selected. There were other people out there who are doing this work, so also connect. It's okay! They're, they wanna do this work too. They're qualified to do this work. Like, so that sense of like leaving competition out. I dunno. Or putting it in check. De Maria: Very, very cool. I think based on those tips as well as the other information you shared with me, you're an excellent resource for someone who's interested in going into the social justice field. So I really appreciate you taking time out today, Sara, and speak to me about your involvement in the CrossCultural Center as well as some of the work that you're doing now. And I think this is gonna be a great resource for anyone trying to learn more about social justice initiatives in their community and how to get involved as well as the history of the Cross-Cultural Center itself. So just wanted to thank you again for taking time out to speak to me about this. This has been a very, very special, special interview. Sheikh-Arvizu: Of course. And I'm here, I'm still here. We have Zoom, we have phone calls, we have, there's so many ways to connect. So yes, if I'm a resource for someone that's listening or watching (laughs) in the future, but you wanna make a connection that's open, like that's available too, right? And I, and I'm pretty sure that, that, I hope, and I'm sure it will stand for other folks that are part of this project and that's why we wanna be part of this project, right? Like not just for the history component, but the future component, which is important. De Maria: Absolutely. Well, we obviously appreciate it. Again, thank you for your time and yeah, I know this isn't the end of your journey. So, (I’m) very excited to see what else you go on to do in your career and what other the communities you’ll impact. Sheikh-Arvizu: Yeah, thank you Michael. Thank you. And for inviting me to be part of this. Transcribed by Michael De Maria and Aaron Williams 15 2024-01-25 � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Transcripts Description An account of the resource Written oral histories and transcripts are available for researchers that prefer the written word, or to see the whole interview in a document. Transcripts of <a href="https://archivesoralhistories.csusm.edu/collections/show/5">audio and video files</a> are also available as part of those video files. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Sheikh-Arvizu, Sara. Interview transcript March 30, 2023. Description An account of the resource Sara Sheikh-Arvizu was Assistant Director of the Cross-Cultural Center at California State University San Marcos from 2008 to 2011. In this interview, Sara discusses her roles at CSUSM and the various programs she initiated or facilitated. Sara also briefly discusses her current work with Orange County Human Relations. This oral history was made possible in collaboration with the Cross-Cultural Center and with generous funding from the Instructionally Related Activities fund. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Sara Sheikh-Arvizu Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Michael De Maria Aaron Williams Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2023-03-30 Subject The topic of the resource California State University San Marcos. Cross-Cultural Center Chapman University Civil rights Education, Higher LGBTQ+ activism LGBTQ+ life Orange County Human Relations Commission (Orange County, Calif.) Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Orange County (Calif.) San Marcos (Calif.) Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available California State University San Marcos University Library Language A language of the resource English Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource https://rightsstatements.org/page/InC/1.0/?language=en Rights Holder A person or organization owning or managing rights over the resource. Sara Sheikh-Arvizu License A legal document giving official permission to do something with the resource. <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/">https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/</a> Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource text Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Shiekh-ArvizuSara_DeMariaMichael_2023-03-30 Activists and activism Cross-Cultural Center oral history project CSUSM history LGBTQIA+ experience Women's experience https://archivesoralhistories.csusm.edu/files/original/e24d158796639884e608761a96307eb3.pdf 2610199d500af06717da987ed89ee24d PDF Text Text MAX DISPOSTI TRANSCRIPT INTERVIEW, 2022-04-26 MJ Teater: Hello. My name is MJ Teeter. Today is Tuesday, April 26th, 2022, and it is 3:00 PM. I'm here with Max Disposti. Thank you for joining me, Max. How are you today? Max Disposti: I'm honored to be here. Absolutely good. It's a beautiful day out there. Even though I haven't been able to go and see the light <laugh> <affirmative> I mean, at the center working, but we're all very excited. Yes. Teater: Yeah. Great. For the recording, can you introduce yourself what your name is? Your pronouns, when you were born, and what you do for work? Disposti: Okay. My name is Max Disposti, pronouns he/him. I'm a cisgender gay male and I was born in Rome in 1968, long time ago. And I am the executive director and founder of the North County LGBTQ Resource Center. Teater: Awesome. And what did your parents do for work? Disposti: Oh, my parents now are retired because they're 85 years old. They're still alive and they live in Rome, Italy, but they were both working class individuals, actually my mom stayed at home even though she was an activist all her life, very active feminist in the city of Rome and my father as well. Teater: Well, that's awesome. <affirmative> Can you tell me about, maybe a little bit about your childhood and some of your educational experience? Disposti: Sure. When I grew up in Rome, you know, I came from a family that was poor, but you know not too poor not to provide for me in terms of, you know, food and a good safe environment, you know healthcare and education in Italy and Europe are still free. Definitely having access to a higher education was not a challenge, at least not from the standpoint of view of affordability. I grew up in a very safe environment, even though, you know, we were struggling every month to make ends meet. I would say my childhood has been affected by the activism of both of my parents. I only have one siblings that's five years older than me also lives in Rome right now, my brother. And so throughout my life I was always exposed to diversity and others in Italy at the time. And still nowadays, there was a big migration from Africa and our country and Middle East or Eastern Europe. It depends on the time at the time, it was mostly from North Africa and my family was hosting people and greeting them and making sure that they were safe. I grew up in an environment where we always care about others, even though we had little for ourselves. Our table was always with more people and usually people from different cultures as well. My family exposed me to all of this, even though my own mom and my own dad didn't have any academic education, so to speak, they couldn't pursue a higher education, but also they were during the Transcribed By Sierra Jenkins 1 2022-10-21 �MAX DISPOSTI TRANSCRIPT INTERVIEW, 2022-04-26 war at the time <affirmative> even going to high school was a privilege that just few wealthy families could afford. I consider myself lucky, of course, when I came out at the age of thirteen there's always that struggle of homophobia, transphobia in a city, in a country that's dominated by Catholic Church. Even though my parents were not religious whatsoever it infiltrates into the patriarchal narratives. When I came out as a gay man at the time it definitely was a surprise and an issue at first to a point I needed to detach from my family. They never pushed me outside so they were not against me but I needed my own space. I was thirteen, fourteen and I was already an activist in the community. But it was never a traumatic experience. I went through my time of self-affirmation and then I came back to them with more-- I knew I could conquer their hearts and mind around this because there were people I could talk to. I was definitely in a privileged position versus other friends of mine. They just end up on the street. <affirmative>. So that's my childhood. That's who I am. For me early on, on my sense of social justice, that activism around issues that they were not just LGBT related you know, human rights, immigration rights and against the war all the time. And at the time America, I was definitely not a place where I was aiming to live. It was this big monster imperialistic country that goes around to conquer spaces and lifestyles. We were not a fan of it, but love brought me to California and my first love, I would say serious enough to drag me there. And then one thing led to another, I end up staying in California. Again, though I overstay my visa. I became undocumented for about five, six years of my first time. I had to experience all of that fear because now I'm in love with someone. I didn't want to lose them. <affirmative> so that's a little bit my story, even though I always recognized my privilege to come from a place that was definitely not devastated by war and crime or violence. I still felt that I couldn't go back to it just because if I did at the time, I could never return to the U.S. I did my best and my education helped me to go through all the application process and so forth to become a citizen and live the best of both world[s] pretty much, back at home and here in California. So, yeah, I hope I didn't share too much. Teater: No, that's great. I love this. Can you tell me a bit more about your education? What did you study? Disposti: When I was in Italy I was really driven by social studies since day one. But my high school years were troubled by a lot of strikes that I organized. I can’t even blame anybody, I was always striking for better schools, better conditions against discrimination. At the time being openly gay was a threat. It was a threat to myself. I think people never touched me or attacked me physically because I was so out that would have exposed them as well. Right. <affirmative> It was one of those I realized the more vocal out I was, the more protection I was bringing to myself because the people there to be that kinda person, especially in a religious country like that, there's always that fade. I mean, that face that you had to keep, you know, in order decency. High school was problematic. I did finish high school and then I went to the university, high school was just-- in Europe, you already pick in high school what you think you're gonna do in the future. It was graphic design related, a fashion design. Then I look around me, you're in Italy with amazing talented artists. And I look at me and say, “oh my gosh, I would never make it.” These people are just-- each one of them is an artist. I realize it wasn't really for me as well. I went into university and developed more social sociology and social studies. I graduated from-- I got my bachelor[s] over there, but didn't do much with it after a few years-- I mean when I was 30 years old, then I decided to move to the U.S. And here I started over my study and I took my bachelor[s] in political science. And then I went back to get a master [in] nonprofit management in leaderships, which I graduated from in 2016. Not really long ago. Recent, because it was a means for me, I didn't need the academic title. I really needed to know more about the work I was doing, particularly in nonprofit. I had to tell you it was money well invested, even though I'm still paying for it, <laugh> after so many years. Transcribed By Sierra Jenkins 2 2022-10-21 �MAX DISPOSTI TRANSCRIPT INTERVIEW, 2022-04-26 And it really helped me to understand more about nonprofit governments and leadership as well. In addition to what I already knew. So yeah, that's my academic background pretty much. Teater: Man, you've lived such a fascinating life. <laugh> So you touched on it a little bit, but what was your career like before the North County Resource Center? Disposti: The north county resource center, I would say around 2007 or 2008 is when I made that decision to do what I do, even though at first was not a paid position. I needed to save as much as I could, reserve anything, because I didn't know where this was going to take me. <affirmative>. Prior to that, when I came in the U.S. even though I was very active and volunteering for different things, I was fortunate enough-- at the beginning I was working in hotel, the hotel industry, I used to be in San Francisco for four years. Then it was a little bit of dot com, I was doing a lot of translating because I speak Spanish and Italian. I was doing a lot of translating from one and to another with platforms, Yahoo platform and so forth. That was a very well-paid job. <affirmative> Even at the time that helped me out a little bit uplift my resources, but I wasn't documented at the time. I couldn't really invest into school or nothing because I knew I just couldn't do that to that point. And so I married my previous husband at the time in San Francisco, we decided to come down here because he had family members in the military. And when we moved to Oceanside was the place where it was cheaper and affordable. I did like the beach. I liked the fact it was Southern California. I bought at first into the life okay. Once I finish with my own immigration status, which lasted 10 years struggle. So that's why I'm very, not only sympathetic, but not many people understand about what it means to be an immigrant in this place where I had at that point, the money and the lawyers to fight the system and an education, but if it was running away from any other country from famine, war, or violence, there is no way that the U.S. will have offered me an alternative there is just no one, legally speaking. There is not an alternative if you become undocumented to fix your record, really not even if you marry someone. It's just not the way it is anymore. It took me 10 years. Yes. I feel privileged because I was able to go through all of that. In the process, I started working to make some money because my dream was always to open a community center. <affirmative> And as I was making the money, I joined some real estate firms. I was a broker and I became very successful because I was this guy that was very realistic. I didn't have dreams of screwing people over to make money. My dream was building LGBT center. I think people saw that in me, that was honest that sometimes I told people, don't buy this house because really too big for you, is not gonna be a good choice, because then you're gonna have this huge mortgage. I was having this conversation with folks, and I think the more I was honest with them, the more business was coming to me. I was doing really well at a certain point, I needed to make the decision to pull the plug and go into unemployment. Mind you I didn't say thousands of thousands of dollars, just enough to go by that unemployment lasted. I mean, I was unemployed for two years because the center couldn't pay me. I mean, it was me <affirmative> and starting a center I needed full-time dedications on everything from gathering resources, putting people together, dynamics of power that you encounter, opening the door and having someone there eight hours a day, it was a huge, huge undertaking. But I never felt alone. I always felt fortunate that people trusted me in the process. And also my leadership style has always been very sharing. The resources was never about me, my name and putting my name in top of the things I did, even though at the beginning, it shows a lot me and the center. My name is very linked to it, but mostly I started the center, but I always bring the honor, the credit to the many people, many, many people that made the center what it is today. So that's how it brought to me. I brought those corporate leaderships into this business. I brought my nonprofit academic research. I brought my life experience as Transcribed By Sierra Jenkins 3 2022-10-21 �MAX DISPOSTI TRANSCRIPT INTERVIEW, 2022-04-26 an activist. And I think everything just worked together. I was there for the right reason and not to rush things through. And I just had hope in my community here that things will have become like they are today or even more. Yeah, the dream's still on and we still have a lot of things we want to accomplish. <affirmative> Teater: In terms of the LGBT community, what was that like in North County? Because I know North County doesn't really have much of a presence as far as LGBT representation, as much as say Downtown or Hillcrest has. Disposti: <affirmative> It was not easy. I had to fight internally and externally, it was opening the door of the center in a military town. I knew it was going to be difficult because it was at the time all North County was extremely conservative. We received threat. We had our windows smashed several times. We elected people that didn't wanna meet us in person. This was obviously 2008 and 2009. Also 2008 was the year of the campaign for marriage equality. The center at this point was not open because we opened 2011, but we were active as a group. It was called North County LGBT coalition. So we were meeting weekly. We were an organizations with all we were grassroot at the same time. We had a board of directors. I mean we were an organization, but not yet with a space because we were saving money to open one. And yeah, North County was quite brutal, but also interesting enough because we were the only organized entity in North County, we received a lot of support and a lot of love from a lot of people from family and youth and so forth. We connected right away with preexisting grassroot groups in North County, in particular, with Link Lesbian in North County, there is a lot of history around what they've done here in North County for 20 years since women met under cover every Friday to create a support system for themselves, even the gay guys were cruising and the whole spots Oceanside had, the Marines were here. There was a lot of LGBT presence in Oceanside. We used to have two gay bars up to 2002, then they closed down just because the owners got old. But there was a lot of LGBT happening. It reminds me what it used to be in San Diego prior to the seventies when the Marines were there. And it became an LGBT Hillcrest [?] in particular place to go because there were a lot of Navy and Marines coming to town and finally they could be true to themself, right? Oceanside, North County was brewing with Marines that they were gay and Navy officers as well, but it was always-- the community was always in denial. Oceanside was a place where there were a lot of street workers, a lot of LGBT people, a lot of trans women, that had to, not by choice, in that case, to become strict workers because they didn't have opportunity for jobs. So quite a rough place, when we came in people couldn't believe that there [were] enough to put ourself out there and call ourself an LGBT center and having the rainbow flag outside. At first we had people just walking into the door. I remember the seniors in particular, literally were emotionally taken by the fact that we were just there. And at first I saw we're not doing anything special. We're just here with a flag outside, running some support groups, but we didn't realize at first the impact we're having soon, so many lives and people that came and dropped their life story on us, seniors and youth. And then all of a sudden we started seeing more and more, our amazing trans kiddos <laugh>. And that was when we started advocating within our own community with our old generation of gay male to the fact that this is the time for us to give back to those of us that are still struggling and understanding how, not only embrace our trans identities, not as a plus or a sign of solidarity, but as a full part of the community, that's always been there, but always been hidden, not by their choice. It was the constitutions of our mission statement at the center. We were fortunate enough that since day one, when no one was talking about trans rights, other than trans people, of course, by meaning the mainstream of the LGBT community. <affirmative> Our board was composed by trans folks, the support Transcribed By Sierra Jenkins 4 2022-10-21 �MAX DISPOSTI TRANSCRIPT INTERVIEW, 2022-04-26 groups. We started hiring therapists, everybody was volunteering at the time to work with our folks. And we had hundreds, hundreds of kids coming at the center during a week basis. And we learned so much from them, their struggle, their pain, one of this kids became my son because he decided to adopt me. Now he's 22, so he's already grown up and he's a trans male, lives with his girlfriend now and everything else. But so it was a overall real experience. That was never a job for me, never just a job or never just a phase. Right. And I think at that time already, we realized that we needed to educate those old leaderships that they were popping up. And they were excited that we were there, but they started warning us. Hey, this place is becoming, you guys always only care about transcripts. It seems like, what about gay people? Or what about, I say, we don't exclude anyone, but now we need to be together to enhance the voices. So those that haven't been, that have been left out for so many years, because when I grew up in Rome at the age of thirteen, fourteen, I was always surrounded by trans people. They were my friends <affirmative>. When people tell me, “Oh, I dunno, what's going on now? All of a sudden, everybody is trans or whatever,” say, “no, it's always been like that.” We always been around. I say, we, even though I'm a cisgender gay guy, because I've been blessed to be educated through the experience for many years when I was thirteen, fourteen. For me to hear an older white male that tells me that I say “You haven't looked around too much. You have been focused on yourself for too long.” I would say that was a journey that allowed me to create a center with a culture and a vision where people, when they joined, they needed to know the old that were on board with the whole spectrum, LGTQI or that wasn't the place for them. And we lost some people in the process. We lost some donors, no regrets. We earned again so much more. And now that people are finally recollecting the necessity to bring home what we’ve started thirty, forty years ago, or fifty years ago with Stonewall to bring it back home with everyone, or just some of us, I think, now people are looking at us and say, “Oh wow, you guys were right. You were always there.” And yeah, we were, we are, and we will. And now we're embracing the intersex identities and struggle because again, they're being ask[ed] to be part of our community because many of them are, and that we've been advocating with them now at the children hospital in San Diego to change the horrible practices of mutilation of our organs just to feed the stereotypical expectations [of] what gender or sexes of birth is all about. We always been there in the forefront and when we weren't, we look into ourself to do better. You can imagine how the past three, four years with the Black Lives Matter Movement with adding colors to our flag, how not only we wanted to embrace, but realize that all our identities are not just one identity, right? That we had to be vocal of about the struggle that our own queer people in our own community BIPOC folks are still enduring because of police brutality, institutional violence, and a way to do nonprofits has been whitewashed for many years. And how white supremacists in filtered into our own community. How it shows up? Recognizing how to do that and making yourself vulnerable to it and not defensive on when you might be perpetuating those dynamics. I think it's part of everyday challenges is what I love the most to be honest, because I don't wanna come to a point where I say, “Oh, I think I know everything, and now I got all of my boxes checked.” Nothing else comes through when it's not true. Life is always moving. Right. And so are we, so, yeah. That's how difficult it was in North County, but I focus on the positive, but we lost some kids in the process in 2014 and by loss, I mean, Taylor, Alisana[?], Sage, and Tyler took their own life. There were transcripts that made national news and there were three of them served by our center. And still troubling for me to talk about it. But I always try to honor their lives because they didn't go in pain, even though I wish they were here. But they taught us a bigger lesson. We believed our kids when they were telling us they were struggling to a point they didn't wanna live anymore. There wasn't just a face or a way to drag attention to themselves. It was a real struggle of pain. Some of us didn't have the privilege. Some of us had the privilege not to experience, by being cisgender. We learn a lot in that process. Sorry. <laugh> Teater: Transcribed By Sierra Jenkins 5 2022-10-21 �MAX DISPOSTI TRANSCRIPT INTERVIEW, 2022-04-26 No, it's okay. I appreciate you sharing with me. I'll shift to maybe a lighter subject <laugh> for a quick second. What are some of the resources and services that are offered at the North County Resource Center and how have they changed over time? Disposti: Yeah. You know we started in a way at the beginning, really. We didn't have need assessment. We didn't know really how to do any of it eleven years ago. We just said, “Hey, if more than three people come forward and tell us, can we have a super group? For seniors, for non-binary folks, for trans folks?” they say that means it's needed. So, we'll find a facilitator and create guidelines. We were always very serious around policies and procedures and guidelines and protecting ourselves and others in the process. So, we're never easy about that. The opposite. I think that so many times, because while we were a grassroot organization, we knew exactly the level of liability we could incur by just gathering people. You know, there were people [who] were coming because they were stalking other people, right. They were. So how do we protect folks without introducing our own biases in the conversation? We created a support group model that responded to the need of the community. Definitely our trans and non-binary groups was the most populated resources. I mean, sometimes we have 40 people in one room cramped in there because it was the only big room. And I say, “Oh my God the fire department show[ed] up, now they're gonna shut us down.” Because it was a small space at the time. So super groups, then we started doing behavioral health and in the way we wanted to see happening for our people. So, things have changed and housing, case working-- I would say [in] two years we became more experienced. We know how to navigate the system and cut the BS about advocating for people and how to do it well. Creating more safety for our community. So sometimes we're like, for instance, human trafficking is a real, real problem in our community. And we notice that a lot of LGBT centers and churches and sport clubs were place[s] where people are going to groom. And sometimes these people are just a year or two years older than the kid that you're serving. You have to be careful to provide a safe space where you're not there to over micromanage people and their own identity, their own sexuality, their own affirmation are the same, but at the same time, provide a space where people can come to you and tell you, “Hey, I'm an active fifteen year old person, I’m sexually active with this person. Maybe they're at my age or a year older.” How do we go about-- how can I be safe? And things like that. Our youth were coming to us opening their hearts because they knew we weren’t there to judge them. We learned all of that, how to be safe, right? If I have a teenager or thirteen [years old] [who] tells me that they were having a relationship, a sexual relationship with someone at twenty-two, we have major red flags. And we’re also mandated a reporter, right. We've done that too in the past. Navigating through all of that was quite interesting. And we learned how to do it. Now we know so much that we are the one training others youth providers around or the police, when the police shows up because someone called them because maybe they're dynamic of stress. We tell the police what to do and how to approach other people. If they don't agree with that, we don't let them in. This is not place for additional violence and trauma. We educated a lot of these institutions that have been the cause of a lot trauma for our community. We work with them when we can, and we do training and we sit on the same table so that we can advocate and build the trust too. But at the same time, we make it clear that as a service, a clinical provider, this is not a space where they're invited. We need to find other way, how to collaborate and do prevention in a community, without having them finding the queer spaces in San Diego County. <affirmative> That's one of the things. Things have changed. And then COVID of course, we moved everything virtually. I have to say, now that we came back, they were coming back in person. We never closed the center. We always been open throughout the pandemic. We just couldn't afford to close. We receive a lot of support from foundations and founders. They realize that we made everything possible to support people. I would say what has changed and now we have support groups, but people prefer the one-on-one because they Transcribed By Sierra Jenkins 6 2022-10-21 �MAX DISPOSTI TRANSCRIPT INTERVIEW, 2022-04-26 can't find socialization quite easily nowadays in different spaces, even virtually, but they like the one-onone, “Hey, help me go through this,” family reification or mental health crisis, or finding a job, or just supporting their ego and the self-esteem. It looks like they will be more successful to do that one by one, instead of putting everyone in a super group, which we do have some people just love that, but they're usually mostly social, like let's come together for an all queer and non-binary or let's come together. And because those spaces are very vital, important. We are not denying that. I would say though, that we are seeing more progress by doing that different kind of intervention. So maybe we're creating a hybrid, whatever the community needs. We'll have to respond to that. Teater: Oh, I love that. What are some of the challenges that you and the center face today? Disposti: I would say challenges, but also opportunities. <affirmative> I do believe that LGBT centers are the Planned Parenthood of United States. And what I mean is we are vital spaces and resources for our queer community that no other institutions will ever provide. And preserving, not only preserving, but supporting those spaces. I think it's a commitment to the government, state, federal, county will have to commit to, because as we know, as it's happening, if you take away resources from a Planned Parenthood, that's why the comparison, I mean, half of the population of women in particular, but not just women will not have access to reproductive rights, a fundamental human rights. And if they're left to the single communities, and this is a conversation I have with our elected official Mike Levin, people that they're being very willing to understand. I said, I realized during COVID that if it wasn't <affirmative> for the private donors and support people with money that stepped in, we would not be open nowadays. And <affirmative> the government, you have [to] allow us to close our resources. And now it's eleven years old that has helped thousands of people. And now employs twelve people. And that's just not fair. This is not just a volunteer experience, this is the livelihood, but also the safe space for thousands of people. And that's true in many region[s], right? For the San Diego Center, so forth. <affirmative> While it's good for us to build our own funding streams so that you can stay independent. You don't want the government to give you everything for everything you do, because then they want to have a say about how you run your business. But definitely it's important that, especially in California, where supposedly we have a more progressive leadership to start supporting LGBT center so they can provide vital care, healthcare services, the others don't provide. [Be]cause when people get sexually assaulted that are queer, they don't go to the police station. They come to us when they are in a mental health crisis given by different reasons. They come to us first, when they're in poverty, they come to us when experiencing certain kind of relationships or a tougher life or because of drugs or substance abuse, they come to us because they know we're not here to judge. I would say that's why we’re the planned parenthood of the community <affirmative> [be]cause it's an essential vital resource. The challenges are that we're not there yet, so that we are left alone to do this work. And now that we have experienced and seen the highest record of anti-LGBT legislation passing in Congress, a passing or proposed in different states and in Congress, this conversation, as you know, they hit home, our kids, even though they're in California. And we know that we're a little bit more protected here. We still have people at the school district level showing up and addressing and stigmatizing and penalizing our queerness. We still have people in position of power taking advantage of those narratives and bring back the same old recycled anti-LGBT religious based narratives. The trauma continues every time we hear that, even though it's not here geographically speaking. That's the challenges that in a time where communication goes past left and right, that sometimes even news needs to be vetted. The trauma that the previous administration has caused, we're still dealing with it. Or the Trump administration for those in the Transcribed By Sierra Jenkins 7 2022-10-21 �MAX DISPOSTI TRANSCRIPT INTERVIEW, 2022-04-26 record that might watch this years to come, or even now with all the anti-LGBT bills from Florida in Texas, in Ohio, South Dakota, I mean, these are thousands, hundreds of thousands LGBT youth in particular trans youth. They are denied their own assistance. And in 2022 I was hoping not to see that again, instead we are (inaudible) <affirmative> I have hope, I think we have a lot of things going our favor, including a history of resilience, but it's tough. It's tough for a lot of people. <affirmative> (Unintelligible) will fight because it's value our own existence, but for a lot of people don't have the means the energy <affirmative> and we will have to fight for them too. <affirmative> I see a lot of challenges. They are not just political or cultural, or educational and people really go around spreading a lot of misinformation around the (unintelligible) kids, supposedly getting surgery at the age of eight, which is total bullshit <affirmative> when it's actually through the opposite. I think that's the challenge of nowadays, they still go and the racism, the institutionalized violence that it's part of the North American culture unfortunately. I think we are an extremely violent culture. <affirmative> I can say that because coming from another-- when a different kind of violence from the European experience in Italy in particular, I can say though, that a lot of people that are born and raised here don't even realize the, the level of competitive individualism that's being created here in North America to a point that now we have a national pandemic and a worldwide pandemic, and people are even struggling to care for their own neighbors by protecting their self and other, right. <affirmative> I'm really concerned about those dynamics of violence and isolation, individualism that our society has brought us to be <affirmative> That goes along with building an LGBT center. Teater: Yeah. You touched on this a little bit earlier, but given the history of policing with the LGBTQ+ community even in San Diego, how do you feel that police and sheriff trainings are received? Disposti: I'm gonna say that really, even though I train the Escondido police, the Oceanside police, Carlsbad Sheriff Department, we do training with FBI. I met amazing people in those spaces. I mean, here and there <affirmative> I don't wanna generalize. [Be]cause I met folks with coming from, they shouldn't be there in my opinion. I don't have any trust that the police or any law enforcement will ever, ever represent the interest of those that are working and living. And those of us that are really struggling for a better tomorrow, I mean law enforcement is there to preserve the status quo and we don't like the status quo <affirmative> of course we like democracy and all of that, but I don't have any confidence in that. You know what I say that to even the officer I train, I tell them I don't dehumanize you because I think people [that] are there are human beings and making their own decisions. Their own sacrifices with their family and many of them risk their life, <affirmative> for something that [they’re] living. I'm not here to dehumanize individuals and call them and isolate them. I have a lot of relationships with police in the relations to, in a very transparent way, there are not. For instance, we have meetings that we sit at the table I'm always very clear about: I don't think that policing belongs to queer spaces. I don't think that policing, and even though I know that police gets, especially LGBT law enforcement feel like betrayed by the fact that “I'm a police LGBT officer, I [want to] be in this space because I earn it.” But the problem that they can't forget or separate themselves from the uniform they're wearing and what has represented for our, it's still percent for our queer and people of color in North American particular. Any region is different, but-- <affirmative>. What I would say is I believe that training reduce the impact of policing in our community. I believe that building relationships can build trust. That something happens. I can go to the police advocate for my people, and I want answers and vice versa, I think will help the police to understand why there is fear in our community of reporting to the police. Because when you have been called faggot by a police officer, when nobody is watching, it's your word against Transcribed By Sierra Jenkins 8 2022-10-21 �MAX DISPOSTI TRANSCRIPT INTERVIEW, 2022-04-26 theirs. So that happens a lot of time <affirmative> on watch. But then there is no way we can prove it. That happens everywhere all the time. And so personally speaking, and this is, I wouldn't say it's a statement to my organization, even though I would say it's a common vision. I think collaborations with police, it's important to, in terms of creating relationships, reducing the impact of policing in our community. But I think the institution of policing is to be completely reinvented from zero. If we wanted to be the force that serves the community, it doesn't protect status quo. I know some people might say radical views, but I met police in different countries, just in North America and they were never on our side. Teater: Yeah. How does local policing here compare to in Italy per se or places in Europe? [Be]cause I'm not too familiar with their policing practices. Disposti: America is anomaly. The whole integration of LGBT experiences into the normalcy of the everyday life has a good outcome, but also has developed contradictions. The fact that the police needs to show up in our places and parade with us as a-- in North American seen as a progress, when in Italy it’[s] like, “Okay, we don't need to hate each other, but my job is policing. It's not to lead the LGBT movements into propolicing know against policing.” Right? It's a different experience with police when I was, even though it was a different time policing in our LGBT experience in Italy was always a (unintelligible) <affirmative>. There were never-- nobody will ever think that we need policing in our streets with us. It's a different comparison. Of course, I don't live in Italy now, even though I go back every year and my family's there and they're still active. I definitely have a sense of what's going on, but <affirmative>, it's just a different thing. People look at us and say, why you need the whole military marching with you, why you need the whole-- and I understand the sense of the fact that LGBT people are everywhere. We [want to] show the normalcy, that being queer is not anything that's out there, but you know, you can be a police officer queer, a doctor, and I do like that. I do marry the cost that every price should be open to everyone that marches. But we got in a point here in Northern America, where now police is telling us how they [want to] show up. They are in San Diego in particular, they are dictating almost the way they should be representing themselves when maybe they have only three, four LGBT police officer. And they're using them as a token to show that the whole force is pro-LGBT. Then they run surveys through the UCSD [University of California San Diego] or through the service for the Sheriff department that you realize how much homophobic and transphobic and racist the force still is. To me, they haven't earned that spot. I'm just gonna be frank. And I told this to chief of police from Oceanside to San Diego to Chula Vista. I tell that in a very not threatening way, they trust me actually. And they like to talk to me because I'm truthful. I don't beat the bush around. I'm just gonna tell I'm gonna work with you and everything else. But I think you were invited at the table and now you think you own the table and that's okay with me, but the police has an incredible force in America. The lobby of policing, the elected officials get money from policing <affirmative> San Diego Police Departments extremely powerful, and they impose their will on, or social organizations and organizing. <affirmative> To ask, for instance, going back in the merit, I will have been happy to see the police marching maybe with their own t-shirts and shorts, you know, so that you can tell everybody you are the San Diego Police Department. And so that your department can be proud of you. And I think that should be alright. But the whole presence of uniform and weapons in a inclusive parade is meant to be inclusive of everyone. Includes those that are now super patriotic, or nationalistic, nationalist and so forth. I think it's very not conducive of a good relationship. It's just a parade. <affirmative> I don't feel it's very-- so I'm sorry if I took you a little bit off, but this is-- Transcribed By Sierra Jenkins 9 2022-10-21 �MAX DISPOSTI TRANSCRIPT INTERVIEW, 2022-04-26 Teater: No, you're good. I'm right there with you. Disposti: It's such a current happening. Maybe people watching this many years from now, I wonder what they will think of it, but right now I feel that we're not there. They have to earn their space. And also let's remember talking about our region when you have a pride parade, you have people coming from all over the county, you have people coming from LA Mesa, Fallbrook in places where policing, the impact of policing on the streets is not as kind of transparent as it could be in any other spaces where we earn that. Right. Like in Hillcrest <affirmative> right. We need to be mindful of the experience of our queer people of policing in Chula Vista or other places, not just San Diego proper. What you see the police marching, is not everyone has the same reaction, and you cannot normalize policing by just marching an parade. You need to work every single day. So that's my-Teater: Yeah, exactly. So, what is the center's relationship with military members of the community then? [Be]cause I know they sort of have a kinship, but like they're different, but they're not, but they are. Disposti: Well. Because we cannot, I mean, I can tell you my personal stance about <affirmative> worth’s, and army, and the military. I think we spend too much money into it when this country struggle to support its own people that live here. Obviously, I'm not sympathetic about any choice of military that's military related, but when it comes to LGBT experience, I have to say the immediate impact of let's say the Marines here, the Navy on our immediate community is incomparable with policing. And what I mean, they're not doing racial profiling here in San Diego. They're not doing-- There is not a direct impact and <affirmative> for a city like Oceanside, which every family member has someone in the military. I would say that also understanding the importance of what they give and how they feel it. That is their dedication, their passion. We need to respect that. We serve a lot of veterans, a lot of military folks, but many of these folks, LGBT usually we serve them because they struggle through the military services. They went through <affirmative> health, sexual assault abuses that could never report from their commanders, <affirmative> transphobia, homophobia, punishments of any kind. We support folks because these are our people. <affirmative> It's not my place to tell them where they should go. We meet them where they are. <affirmative> But definitely it's a different experience. I would say I met amazing folks that actually have been a resource for the center and helping others from the army, from some of the Marines or the many, many veterans that they are a part of our volunteer team. I'm sure some of them might not share my views. These are personal view, again, not the center view, but definitely we did think about building a center in a military community. You could completely subject to it and be dictated on how to express your sentiment around military actions. You can be who you are and supporting the queer people around the world. That's my goal as a human rights and civil rights activist that I-- doesn't believe in any borders, or in any particular nationality, I focus on the help that my folks need in the entire world. If the America gets in the middle of that, then I will definitely denounce it but it's beyond the scope of the center. It's more my personal perspective. <affirmative> I think we are all connected in so many different ways. Teater Transcribed By Sierra Jenkins 10 2022-10-21 �MAX DISPOSTI TRANSCRIPT INTERVIEW, 2022-04-26 <affirmative> I love that. I have a couple more questions. I'm [going to] switch gears a little bit. What does it mean to you that the resource center has been open for eleven years now? Disposti: <laugh> It means a lot. I can't believe it. And I don't look back too many times, when I do I get emotional. We had our first staff meeting after a while. I mean, in person and in the past six months alone, we hire[d] six people. So now we're[employees] twelve. <affirmative> And just look around the table with beautiful queer diversity around us, people with incredible (unintelligible). And I just couldn't even envision this years ago, I knew it was coming, but now seeing these people around me, each one of them gives so much, it brings so much to the center. I get really emotional, but I tend to look ahead of me in terms of, there's so much we [want to] do. Just to give you an idea, this center is really small. Now we really need that center is four or five times bigger, so we can grow and serve really serve North County. I don't feel, we are able to say we are the North County LGBT center because we serve everyone, but truly serving everyone from Escondido to--, it’s just not, at this moment, practically possible. It takes resources. <affirmative> Not just volunteers and time and resources and money. I can't imagine a queer person in Escondido, in order to be served they have to come to Oceanside. That alone is a barrier. We encourage, even though we like to serve the whole region, that there are new experiences that we can support them and share with them what we did so they can learn it. We're not in competition with other spaces growing and coming up, but it's not an easy thing to do. I would say I'm proud of what we did, of what we accomplished, but before I finish with the center experience, whenever that is, I [want to] see a huge building, thriving with a lot of people in it. And mostly with a lot of brand-new leaderships that can take that, toward and moving forward. That would make me happy in so many different ways. So, yeah. Teater: Oh, that's so nice. During your time as an activist, and this'll be my final question, during your time as an activist, what has brought you the most joy? Disposti: Oh gosh. I don't think I can single out one. Teater: What were some of the experiences? Disposti: Opening the center, the grand opening of the center. Definitely. People showed up for that dream. Really so many, I've been so fortunate to have so many memories, but definitely the opening the center. The meeting that we had two weeks ago, I told you looking around and see, oh my gosh, these are my people and the staff, and the center is growing. The people coming forward after a few years of months that visit us, and we help them and thanking us for truly-- And when I say save the life, I don't mean in such a-- these were people struggling with their own existence. When I say save the life, I mean, it physically not--I mean, taught them the way. Right. I don't [want to] be so pretentious of presumptions or, we are not telling people what to do, but many people really couldn't survive without our support that has to do with mostly believing in them. When stories like that are coming back to you, you know, you're on the right path, are doing the right work. So many, I can't pin it down, but mostly had to do with my community being there for my community and here at the center. So-- Transcribed By Sierra Jenkins 11 2022-10-21 �MAX DISPOSTI TRANSCRIPT INTERVIEW, 2022-04-26 Teater: Yeah. Awesome. Well, thank you for sharing with me. Is there anything else you wanted to mention before we sign off? Disposti: No, it's hard to recollect now, but I'm sorry for getting through the emotions. Teater: Oh no, I love it all. It's perfect. Disposti: You know, me? Yeah. I don't shy away from that. No, thank you. Thank you for doing this work. That's what I [want to] say that I know how important it's because we're doing an archive here at the center as well, and we are doing the same interviews to the people that were here, the key leaders in the communities, even prior to the opening of the center, it's a very tedious, slow process that takes years in the making. I appreciate you and your team for even thinking about this. And for creating this record that one day will be so helpful for people, or maybe not for people to watch. And I wish I had that when I started the center, looking back to the stories and the voices of those that came before us, because we always stand on the shoulder. Those that came became before us, even though there was not an LGBT center, but, you know, yeah. That's what we got. Thank you. Thank you. Teater: Thank you. Well, I'm [going to] stop the recording now. Disposti: Perfect. Transcribed By Sierra Jenkins 12 2022-10-21 � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Transcripts Description An account of the resource Written oral histories and transcripts are available for researchers that prefer the written word, or to see the whole interview in a document. Transcripts of <a href="https://archivesoralhistories.csusm.edu/collections/show/5">audio and video files</a> are also available as part of those video files. Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Disposti, Max. Interview transcript. April 26, 2022. Description An account of the resource Max Disposti is the founder and Executive Director of the North County LGBTQ Resource Center. In this interview, Max discusses his upbringing in Rome, Italy as a queer male and his experience coming to the U.S. and his quest to open the Resource Center. Max Disposti also talks about the parallels in how the LGBTQ+ community is treated in Italy in comparison to America. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Max Disposti Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource MJ Teater Sierra Jenkins Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2022-04-26 Subject The topic of the resource LGBTQ+ activism LGBTQ+ rights North County LGBT Resource Center Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant North County (San Diego County, Calif.) 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