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              <text>            6.0                        Gilmore, Geoffrey. Interview April 14th, 2021.      SC027-04      01:12:56      SC027      California State University San Marcos University Library Special Collections oral history collection            Campus oral histories      CSUSM      This oral history was made possible in collaboration with the Black Student Center and with generous funding from the Instructionally Related Activities fund.&amp;#13 ;  &amp;#13 ;  Please see the related “Preferred Citation note” for language on citing materials from this collection. &amp;#13 ;   &amp;#13 ;  Permission to examine Library materials is not authorization to publish or to reproduce the examined material in whole, or in part. Persons wishing to quote, publish, perform, reproduce, or otherwise make use of an item in the library’s collections must assume all responsibility for identifying and satisfying any claimants of the copyright holder. &amp;#13 ;   &amp;#13 ;  The researcher assumes full responsibility for use of the material and agrees to hold harmless the University Library, and California State University, against all claims, demands, costs, and expenses incurred by copyright infringement or any other legal or regulatory cause of action arising from the use of the library's materials. &amp;#13 ;   &amp;#13 ;  In assuming full responsibility for use of the material, the researcher also understands that the materials they examine may contain Social Security numbers, other personal identifiers, and/or sensitive material on potentially living and identifiable individuals (e.g., medical, evaluative, or personally invasive information). The researcher agrees not to record, reproduce, or disclose any Social Security number or other information of a highly personal nature that may be found. &amp;#13 ;        csusm      Black Student Center      student success      California State University San Marcos      Black experience      Geoffrey Gilmore      Sierra Jenkins      moving image      GilmoreGeoffrey_JenkinsSierra_2021-04-14_Access.mp4            0            https://archivesoralhistories.csusm.edu/files/original/5092b218abace83b431090029a7e6156.mp4              Other                                        video                  English                              0          Interview Introduction                                                                                                                            0                                                                                                                    36          Childhood                                        Gilmore briefly discusses his childhood growing up in Seattle and his feeling of isolation without close family.                     Seattle ;  Los Angeles ;  isolation ;  family                                                                0                                                                                                                    177          Developing an understanding of Blackness                                        Gilmore speaks about how his understanding of blackness came mostly from books, documentaries, lectures, and his family and peers.                     self-education ;  informal education                                                                0                                                                                                                    300          Learning about Black history and the Black experience in childhood and adolescence                                        Gilmore talks about her exposure to Black history in school, which was largely misinformation and seen through a lens of whiteness.                     Black history ;  Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. ;  Malcom X ;  Civil Rights Movement ;  Black Panthers ;  power ;  teacher                                                                0                                                                                                                    680          College experience                                        Gilmore reflects on his time in college at Washington State University. In contrast to his earlier education experience, he was able to take Black studies courses and interact with a diversity of Black people. He talks in length about a television series titled “Them” and how its premise and conclusion has impacted him.                     Black history ;  Black studies ;  Black and white relations ;  Them television series ;  racism ;  power dynamic                                                                0                                                                                                                    1703          Personal impact of Black activism and social justice movements                                        Gilmore reflects on his main philosophy that is Black empowerment through education. He has spent his career helping students to realize how they can succeed in education and in their careers.                      educational philosophy ;  student success ;  empowerment through education ;  student struggle ;  student learning ;  remedial education                                                                0                                                                                                                    2624          Early focus of the Black Student Center's initiatives, programming, events                                        Gilmore speaks about many events sponsored by the Black Student Center. From his perspective, the main purpose of the Center was to be focused on education and student success.                     Black Student Center ;  education ;  learning ;  events ;  Kwanzaa ;  Black Panters ;  Tulsa Massacre ;  Black health                                                                0                                                                                                                    2992          Gilmore's role in establishing the Black Student Center                                        Gilmore speaks about his role in establishing the Center, including his initial oversight of the Center. From his perspective, the main purpose of the Center was to be focused on education and student success.                                        Black Student Center ;  student success ;  Dr. Gail Cole-Avent ;  John Rawlins III ;  Jake Northington ;  organizational structure                                            0                                                                                                                    3147          The process of creating the Black Student Center                                        Gilmore discusses the initial push by students for a Black Student Center.                    Black Student Center ;  meeting ;  President Karen Haynes ;  formal request                                                                0                                                                                                                    3295          Leaders of the Black Student Center project, their contributions, and unsung heroes                                        Gilmore mentions how to find a list of people who were involved in establishing the Black Student Center. He also talks about the faculty and staff working behind the scenes on this student-driven initiative                    Black Student Center website ;  CSUSM faculty ;  CSUSM staff ;  student-driven                                                                0                                                                                                                    3441          University Administration’s vision for the Black Student Center                                        Gilmore speaks about the priorities for the Black Student Center being student success, engagement, and involvement. The Black Student Center was moved from Student Academic Support Services to Student Life.                     Black Student Center ;  student success ;  student engagement ;  Student Academic Support Services ;  Student Life                                                                0                                                                                                                    3607          Opposition to the creation of the Black Student Center                                        Gilmore briefly speaks to campus worries about the establishment of a Black Student Center on campus.                    Black Student Center ;  white student center ;  pushback                                                                0                                                                                                                    3732          Experiencing the Grand Opening of the Black Student Center/BSC's impact on the campus communitiy                                        Gilmore reflects on the grand opening of the Center, especially the emphasis on creating relationships with the local Black community.                     grand opening ;  relationships ;  local service area ;  Black Student Unions ;  pipeline ;  community members ;  careers ;  National Association for the Advancement of Colored People ;  Jack and Jill organization ;  conference                                                                0                                                                                                                    4118          Personal impact of the Black Student Center on Gilmore                                        Gilmore reflects on how the educational events and connection with students in the Black Student Center impacted him.                    educational events ;  student connection                                                                0                                                                                                                    4273          Future expectations of the Black Student Center                                        Future expectations of the Black Student Center. Gilmore shares his expectation for taking the Black Student Center to the next level.                     Dr. Gail Cole-Avent ;  John Rawlins III ;  student success ;  graduation                                                                0                                                                                                              oral history      Dr. Geoffry Gilmore specifically touches on the issues of Black people within academic spaces and his experience helping students to succeed on a university level. Dr. Gilmore also discusses his own history as he moved from Los Angeles to Seattle, and back to California.                 NOTE TRANSCRIPTION BEGIN  00:00:00.000 --&gt; 00:01:00.000   Today is Wednesday, April 14, 2021 at two zero eight p.m. I am Sierra Jenkins, student at CSU San Marcos, and today I'm interviewing Dr. Geoffrey Gilmore for the Black Student Center oral history project, a collaboration of the CSUSM Black Student Canter and CSUSM University Library Special Collections. Dr. Gilmore, thank you for being here with me today. How are you doing? Geoffrey Gilmore: I'm doing well. Thank you.  Jenkins: Glad to hear it. So I'm just gonna' jump right in. So our first question for today is where were you born and where did you grow up? Gilmore: I was born in, I was born in, in Los Angeles, California, and I grew up in Seattle, Washington. Jenkins: How was it growing up in Seattle as compared to Los Angeles? Gilmore: It was different, you know, it was, you know, it was a lot, it was a lot different.  00:01:00.000 --&gt; 00:02:00.000 It was isolating in the sense that, in the sense that, that the family that we had here in California was very expansive. We have a lot of family who had migrated and settled and stayed in the Los Angeles area for a long time. And so I've got a lot of family in the Los Angeles area and particularly in Pasadena, California, and you know, in Washington, when we moved up there, that wasn't the case. I think, a little later on, we had a couple of cousins  00:02:00.000 --&gt; 00:03:00.000 who were up there, but, who had moved up there, but other than that there wasn't, there were not, there were not that many. So yeah, it was different. Jenkins: How old were you when you moved to Seattle? Gilmore: I was, I was very young. I was four years old. Jenkins: Okay. And how old were you when you moved back out to California? Gilmore: When I moved back to California, I was, I was 30. Jenkins: Oh, wow. So you definitely grew up in Seattle completely. Gilmore: Right. Jenkins: How did you come to your understanding of Blackness? Gilmore: A lot of it, I would say a lot of it came from  00:03:00.000 --&gt; 00:04:00.000 experience and then there was, family as well. And then on top of that, there was the education I received. And I will emphasize that when I say education, I'm not talking about education in the formal sense of school, although school did attempt to educate me to accept what the role that society had actually established for Black people in this country. But, you know, it was more so self-education, as well as informal  00:04:00.000 --&gt; 00:05:00.000 experiences, where maybe peers or other members within the Black community had actually referred me to information from different books, documentaries, and, having attended different lectures, all that kind of stuff. So educationally,  it was largely informal but then, of course, like I said, there's the life experience as well as, the education that came from family. Jenkins: Thank you for that. What were you taught in childhood and adolescence about Black history and the Black experience? Gilmore: It's  00:05:00.000 --&gt; 00:06:00.000 interesting that you asked that question. Really when it came down to Black experience, what I was educated is that in school in particular, is that Black people are in a lower social class than white people. And really than anybody else in the world that we are at the bottom when it comes to when it comes to social class, based on race and was also educated--actually, I'll tell you what--I'll tell you a story that sort of underscores what that was. I can remember, I believe it may have been  00:06:00.000 --&gt; 00:07:00.000 in the fourth grade that this really occurred. We were learning about, I guess, quote, Black history in the classroom, and it was all about slavery and the struggle of the Black people in the Civil Rights Movement, and how Martin Luther King was this great person because he encouraged the struggle to be non-violent, whereas Malcolm X and the Black Panthers were violent, racist, haters of white people and wanted to kill white people and  00:07:00.000 --&gt; 00:08:00.000 all this kind of stuff. And as she went into that part of our education, I can remember that one of the white students in the class had raised his hand and asked the teacher a question, and the question that he asked was if we were to ever let Black people have power then would they put us in slavery and do the same things to us that we've done to them. And the teacher thought about the question for a moment and really her answer to that question reinforced what the intention  00:08:00.000 --&gt; 00:09:00.000 of that lesson was, right? And really, reinforced what the whole message about power in this country is all, as it pertains to race, is all about. And her answer to the question was you know that's a really good question. I don't know. And so the thing is, just in looking at, in really unpacking that question and what the student was asking, first of all just in asking, if we ever let Black people have power, first of all, that means that the white people have the  00:09:00.000 --&gt; 00:10:00.000 power, and the only way that Black people can ever have power is if the white people let Black people have power. Right? And so that's the first thing. And then, the second thing was this fear that what they have imposed on Black people would be reciprocated back to them and all of that. Right? And just in what the teacher was saying all of that message was the message that she clearly intended to get across given the answer to that question. And that answer basically confirmed that, yes, her intent was to--what's to say that white people have all the power  00:10:00.000 --&gt; 00:11:00.000 and the only way Black people can ever have power is if white people let them have power? And that it is a real fear of white people that Black people with power would return the evil that has been imposed on our people. So that was the gist of the formal education that I was given about Black people in school. And I can tell you that really from year to year moving on from there, and even before that, that was the message that was being delivered. That was the, that was what we were being educated to  00:11:00.000 --&gt; 00:12:00.000 believe.  Jenkins: That's horrible. That's such an interesting story to have experienced in fourth grade. What did you learn after adolescence prior to coming to CSUSM? Gilmore: Well, there's a whole lot of time in between adolescence and CSUSM. So, I would say--I guess you're talking about, after I left high school, correct? Jenkins: Yes.  Gilmore: Okay. So when I left high school and went to college, it was different. And it was different in the sense that while  00:12:00.000 --&gt; 00:13:00.000 attending a predominantly white college, or university, I also, the company I kept was largely Black. We had a sizable enough Black community at Washington State that really was who I was with the majority of the time I was there, you know? And so educationally speaking, it was different in the sense that, at this point I'm actually--I could actually take Black studies courses  00:13:00.000 --&gt; 00:14:00.000 and actually learn more in a formal educational setting about Black people in this country and around the world. On top of that, there was the informal education, that was in the same vein, along the same vein of what I had mentioned before with peers and with other people in the community and what--really just being referred to different books, different documentaries, all that kind of stuff. And even in special lectures and all that kind of stuff. And even that,  00:14:00.000 --&gt; 00:15:00.000 looking at a lot of these things on my own, that was a big part, but also, I would say that interacting with people who had come to Washington State from a continent, that was a huge educational experience in itself as well. And to be able to learn more about the continent and about what had, what had actually gone on the continent beyond slavery, beyond the slave trade, was a very illuminating experience. And so that kind of gets back to your previous  00:15:00.000 --&gt; 00:16:00.000 question about what I learned about Black people growing up. And one thing that I would say that I walked away from my K-12 experience with was the warped understanding that Africa was all about National Geographic or apartheid, one of the two. And so therefore, my perspective was that anybody from, anybody who I met from Africa, either lived in apartheid under the apartheid system, being oppressed by white people, or they live like National Geographic in the bush. And that was my understanding  00:16:00.000 --&gt; 00:17:00.000 coming out of high school and it was very illuminating to be able to go to college and actually get to know and interact with people who had come over to the United States from the continent and get their college education at Washington State like I did. And in doing that, that understanding or that misunderstanding, and that miseducation as to what Africa was all about was dispelled definitively in the--through those interactions.  00:17:00.000 --&gt; 00:18:00.000 And I would have to say that what, in learning about what had actually occurred in various places around the continent over, around the continent that I came to realize that I'd been lied to, and it's that sort of thing to where when you have a--let's say if you're talking to your parents growing up and they asked you a question about what happened and you give them a part of the story but not the whole story as to what happened and what are they going to say? They're going to say that you lied. Right? And essentially  00:18:00.000 --&gt; 00:19:00.000 that's what happened in my educational experience, that a part of the story that really made them look good or powerful maybe--I wouldn't even say look good because much of our story in this country as it pertains to Black and white race relations much of that is rooted in pure evil, you know? And I don't know if you've seen that, the Lovecraft Country show, or if you've seen Them, which just came out on Amazon Prime. Jenkins: I've heard a lot about it, and I haven't heard the best of things.  00:19:00.000 --&gt; 00:20:00.000 And that's what kind of pushed me away from it. 'Cause it has a lot of our trauma on screen and some of that can be triggering. So I kind of stayed away from it. I've planned to watch Lovecraft, 'cause I know that that one has more of a better ending, but I've heard that Them doesn't really come to a conclusion--that it, it's kind of just like our trauma for entertainment. Gilmore: Them had a conclusion.  Jenkins: Oh, it did?  Gilmore: Yes, it did. And it had a very powerful conclusion at that. And I would say that as far as that show is concerned, that it is important for us to watch that, the creator's expression of  00:20:00.000 --&gt; 00:21:00.000 the Black experience, is through that, through that program because the creator really nailed the trauma as you put it of the Black experience in this country 100%, and the way in which he did it, in my opinion, was pure genius, you know? So, I would highly, highly, highly recommend it, very highly recommend it. It was difficult to watch, and it was painful in much--I would say the majority of it was painful, but the way in which it ended, it ended  00:21:00.000 --&gt; 00:22:00.000 with power, and again, I most definitely wholeheartedly recommend that show. There's a lot to unpack in that show. And one of the things about it is that we recognize our experience and the experience of those who came before us because I'll tell you one of the things about watching something like that, right? Is where we can hear about the experiences that the people who came before us went through, right? But to really see it and to really understand it is a whole 'nother thing. And to really get down to the  00:22:00.000 --&gt; 00:23:00.000 evil of racism that has existed in our country and still exists in our country is critical for us to really wake up and determine our place in the society. Really the way in which the system has been set up and continues to be set up is that we're supposed to know our place in a society. We're supposed to know our role and stay in it, you know? And that's the way that it's designed. But if we're all to also understand that the,  00:23:00.000 --&gt; 00:24:00.000 really the power to determine what our role is going to be in society and take that role on, the power to do that actually lies within ourselves to make that determination and to and stand by it, you know? And so that's where I think that this program really hit the nail on the head and really delivered that message. And the other thing, too, is that it's one of those things where I was watching--in watching the show,  00:24:00.000 --&gt; 00:25:00.000 it made me think about my grandfather, right? And I had to go back and really think about what the kinds of things that my grandparents would say about their experiences and what their attitudes were. You know, what about this society and about what was and was not possible, all kinds of stuff, right? And in doing that, I actually just on a whim typed my grandfather's name into Google and looked up  00:25:00.000 --&gt; 00:26:00.000 --and was trying to look up and see if there was any information there about him and about that time, and in doing so, I came across an article that was about my great-grandmother in the LA (Los Angeles) Times. And the article was really just a human interest piece that was talking about her because she had turned a hundred and really, in coming to California, that's where a lot of family just actually just came from her and is in the Los Angeles area as a result.  00:26:00.000 --&gt; 00:27:00.000 And there was one part in there where they were talking to her, and she was talking about coming to California and how--from the deep South--and how that, and how, in some ways what she experienced in California was worse than what she experienced in the deep South. And that's where it--that show really resonated because that's what the show is centered on. Centered on Black people coming to California from the South. And moving into neighborhoods that are  00:27:00.000 --&gt; 00:28:00.000 predominantly, if not all white. And how they were and how they were received. And so I can--it gave a picture as to what may have been behind that statement, you know? Yeah. So-- Jenkins: I’ll try it. I will, but 'cause my grandma, she also had a similar experience. She came from Seattle to California around the fifties. And so, but she lived in like a Black area. She, yeah. Gilmore: Okay. Jenkins: How has Black social justice and activism such as the Civil Rights Movement, feminism, the natural hair movement, and Black Lives Matter affected you?  00:28:00.000 --&gt; 00:29:00.000   Hmm. How has it affected me?  Jenkins: Yes.  Gilmore: You know, I'll tell you what, when I was in school, I was very much involved in social justice and activism on our campus at Washington State. I would also say that when it comes to  00:29:00.000 --&gt; 00:30:00.000 my life beyond college, it has taken on a different form than the activism that I was involved in when I was a student in school. And the form that it is taken on has been more so in my work, right? And so we can look at that basically, given that I've been in education, it's been more about empowerment through education, and that has actually been a philosophy that I have,  00:30:00.000 --&gt; 00:31:00.000 that has, that has grounded in my work. That philosophy of empowerment through education has grounded my work. And that would be through math, through writing, through--and really through looking at ourselves and looking at our history and where we come from and also looking at the possibilities of where we can go and--if we so desire and how to get there. And that's where I would say that connecting the students to resources, helping students to see that  00:31:00.000 --&gt; 00:32:00.000 what they may have thought was out of reach when it comes to their education is actually actually tangible. It's possible to learn this stuff. And one of the things--we talk a lot about impostor syndrome. That's something, that's a term that I've heard used quite a bit when it comes to people not realizing or understanding that they can actually learn what's there and that it's not a reflection of their intelligence or ability that they struggle with certain  00:32:00.000 --&gt; 00:33:00.000 material because the thing is that when it comes down to it, say for instance, we struggling with math, right? And I've heard so many students saying that I'm just not good at math. Right? And the thing to understand there is that there's no such thing as not being good at math. The thing to understand is that you are in school and in being in school, you're here to learn. And the fact that you don't know the information that is being presented to you in the classroom--is not--that's the way it's supposed to be, right? Because you're here to learn it, you know? And so you're not going into the classroom already knowing how to do what they're presenting to you.  00:33:00.000 --&gt; 00:34:00.000 Otherwise you're wasting your time. If you're just sitting there to showcase that you know how to do stuff that--and and basically pay him money to take a class, to show you how to do stuff that you already know how to do, you know? And so that is--that has been what a large part of what I've done after college. One thing, for instance, was at Washington State, I was Director of the Freshman Seminar Program at Washington State for a while. And while I was doing that I was called by the athletics department. Right? And they had all these football players  00:34:00.000 --&gt; 00:35:00.000 during the summertime who were taking a math course that they were failing. And in order to be eligible to play in the fall, they absolutely had to pass this class. And so they called me in to help them pass the--help them with the math and to help them pass the class. And so I did that and what we ended up doing was we ended up addressing the concepts that they were being presented in that class. And as they  address those concepts, they gained, they started gaining understanding of how these things work, of how the concepts that they were being presented with work and on how to use those--and how and when to use the different concepts that they were being given  00:35:00.000 --&gt; 00:36:00.000 and what they ended up discovering was that the knowledge that they had previously thought was unreachable and was out of--and unattainable was actually accessible and that all they had to do was the learning, right? And so coming to that understanding that just because I don't know what's--what this is all about going into it, doesn't mean that I can't learn it. Right? And what you ended up seeing was that with this, in this classroom full of football players, who I was working with, who are majority Black, finding out that that knowledge was accessible and actually coming to that understanding of what this  00:36:00.000 --&gt; 00:37:00.000 education was all about, what you saw them do after that experience was consider the possibilities for their own lives and start to see that, well, Hey, maybe I can be a doctor, or maybe I can be an engineer. And what you saw was you saw these students changing their majors from general studies, or from social sciences, just anything that they had signed up for because they were told that it was going to be easier for them to do while they were playing football and change their majors to physics or to engineering or to pre-med and--or other fields that they thought might be  00:37:00.000 --&gt; 00:38:00.000 of interest or might--that they might want to go into. And that was that empowerment, right? To where it's like coming to that understanding then they ended up really taking a look at their own lives and their own direction and determining where they were going to go. And for the next few years after that I would see those same students, those same football players, progressing through the different levels of math. They started out at the class that I was helping them with was considered a remedial math course, right? And in taking that class, they then  00:38:00.000 --&gt; 00:39:00.000 advanced to the next level and then to the next level. And were taking calculus two, calculus three, depending on what their major was asking for and approaching it from that standpoint of learning. And to this day, a couple of those students are actually doctors to that--medical doctors. There's, another one that I know of who did and end up becoming an engineer and then there was, I think there were a couple others who went into business and actually started their own businesses and are successful in doing so. So that's what I'm talking about when it comes to empowerment through education. And even when I got here  00:39:00.000 --&gt; 00:40:00.000 at Cal State San Marcos that was the thing that I was brought into address. I was brought into address math and writing. And in particular, those students who were coming into the university with a knowledge foundation that was below the college level, so it was a matter of helping those students to get up to speed with what they needed to know to do--to be successful in school. Right? And that's what I did. And that was actually one of the things that I had told--that I would tell students as they came into the university. And I would tell these students and you would see it, too, when it came down to actually talking to the students, what, you  00:40:00.000 --&gt; 00:41:00.000 would see that in orientation, when they dismissed the students who did not need to attend the discussion on what was called remedial math or writing, then the students who were left were largely Black and Latino. And on any given day, that would--orientation day, when I would speak to the students, it would be the case. And that's the thing that I would that I will conclude with when I would talk to them, after telling them about the requirements, after telling them about the classes that they would have to take, and addressing all of those things.  00:41:00.000 --&gt; 00:42:00.000   I would tell them to take a look at the name badges, where their test scores were printed out--the placement scores--and where the classes that they would have to take were listed and the--their requirement for early start was on there as well. And I would tell them that this is the most important thing that I was going to tell them out of that whole presentation. And in looking at that, their name badges with their test scores in those classes, I would tell them those scores and those classes are not a reflection of your intelligence, nor are they a reflection of your ability, but they are a reflection of what you know and what you don't know right now. And all of that that I just presented  00:42:00.000 --&gt; 00:43:00.000 is, it's about what you are required to learn and to understand that when you are learning new knowledge, that that learning experience is supposed to be a struggle. And so the fact that you may have struggled with math and writing in the past, that does not mean that you are not good at it. It just means that you've come across some knowledge that you don't know right now, but you can learn it and that we're here to support you in learning it. And as a result of that, seeing countless students go through, starting at the, from the lowest levels of math and go on into, going into fields that they thought were not accessible to them just like the, those football players. Same with students who were, who needed  00:43:00.000 --&gt; 00:44:00.000 a stronger foundation in writing, same kind of thing. And in doing so, helping them to think about what it was that they wanted to do and how it is that they can leverage what they were learning in the classroom to actually do those things that they wanted to do, you know? So that was the, that was what, has been in large part what my experience has been since leaving the state of Washington. There's been more and, as you know, I was a part of actually helping to establish the Black Student Center here at Cal State San Marcos, as well. And so when, that was  00:44:00.000 --&gt; 00:45:00.000 in large part from the, from an administrative standpoint, but at the same time also setting the tone from an educational standpoint as to what the Center was to, what it was to be about, which was education, right? And learning and advancing yourself to go back into the community and build up the community. And so, when they were, there were quite a few things that we did to actually do that through the Black Student Center. One, I would say, was through  00:45:00.000 --&gt; 00:46:00.000 a lot of the educational events that we put on. One of those events was that we brought a panel of Black Panthers to the University to speak on their experiences and what that was all about. And we also had a photography display up in the Library, where you had all these pictures of Black Panthers and narratives where they were telling their stories and their experiences in the movement. We also had an event where we, what we brought the founder of Kwanzaa to the University to preside over the Kwanzaa ceremony and to also educate us on where it came from  00:46:00.000 --&gt; 00:47:00.000 and why it was, why was it established here in this country. We also brought in some people who, from Tulsa, Oklahoma, to talk about the Tulsa Massacre you know where--and I'm sure you've probably heard you, you're probably knowledgeable of that history. And it was those kinds of things that we did to really create a learning environment about the Black experience, as well as establishing a forum  00:47:00.000 --&gt; 00:48:00.000 within the Black Student Center for students to exchange knowledge and also to learn from each other with what they were learning in the classroom and to help uplift each other in that sense. Another thing that we did was to also address the Black experience, whether that be in general or whether that be on this campus. And to really help students to come to an understanding of what it is that they're going through, and what it is that is happening with them  00:48:00.000 --&gt; 00:49:00.000 when it comes to stress, when it comes to their interactions with others, and to understand that what they may be experiencing is not abnormal, and that there are many of us, have, and do experience the same things. You know, we brought in a psychologist from Student Health and Counseling Services to come in and talk about Black stress and how as Black people, there is so much that we carry around on a daily basis that  00:49:00.000 --&gt; 00:50:00.000 is a huge contributor to the high blood pressure that many of us experience to the hypertension that many of us experience and into our general health. And so those are the kinds of things that we did with the, in establishing the Black Student Center. Jenkins: That definitely goes into my next questions that are all centered on the Black Student Center. So you touched on, kind of what, how, what you guys have done now that it's already created, but what role did you play in the beginning or the creation of the Black Student Center? Gilmore: So the Black Student Center was actually established in my area,  00:50:00.000 --&gt; 00:51:00.000 which is Student Academic Support Services. Right? And so, you know Dr. Cole-Avent, right? Oh, you don't know Dr. Cole-Avent--  Jenkins: --I'm new, I'm like very new. Like I started fall 2020, so we've already, we've been in, quarantine and Zoom school, so I haven't gotten to know anybody in any fundamental way. Gilmore: Sure. Okay. So, but you know, Mr. Rawlins, John Rawlins? Jenkins: Yes. I met him and I also met Jake (Northington). Gilmore Okay. So Dr. Cole-Avent is Mr. Rawlins' direct supervisor. Right? And so I was  00:51:00.000 --&gt; 00:52:00.000 essentially, when the Black Student Center was established, I was in that role, to where the Black Student Center, the Director of the Black Student Center reported to me. Right? And so in establishing the Black Student Center, the, like I had mentioned, the way in which I wanted to approach it was from more of an educational standpoint, more of a educational success standpoint. And with that, with that success, with the end goal of that success, actually being what I previously mentioned about being employed upon graduation and going out into the community and thriving in the community, and  00:52:00.000 --&gt; 00:53:00.000 being that mover and shaker in this society. So that was the role that I played in the establishment of the Black Student Center. Jenkins: Okay. Had you seen a push for the creation of a center before? Gilmore: Had I done what? Jenkins: Had you seen a push for a center before it was created? Gilmore: Yes, actually. And when I was, I was actually at the forum where the president, our previous president, President Haynes, was speaking about the--she was speaking, I believe she may have been being, giving an update on the campus budget to the campus community. And  00:53:00.000 --&gt; 00:54:00.000 there were some Black students who came to that meeting and essentially expressed the need and the desire for a Black Student Center on this campus. And so the president had informed the students that she was open to it and that and that they needed to submit a formal request. And so in the background, I was helping the students who were working on that formal request with the information that they needed to support that request. And so  00:54:00.000 --&gt; 00:55:00.000 more information about the Black experience on this campus. And how students were performing in their classes on this campus and what a Black Student Center would do to bolster the success of Black students at CSUSM. Jenkins: It definitely sounds like you were one of the leaders in the creation of the Black Student Center. Were there anyone that worked on this project and their contributions, including any unsung heroes we may not know about? Gilmore: There were quite a few, and so  00:55:00.000 --&gt; 00:56:00.000 I would say a lot of the people who were involved in the and actually establishing the Black Student Center at Cal State San Marcos are  listed on the website under the history of the Black Student Center. So you can find a lot of the names there. As far as unsung heroes are concerned, I would say that there were quite a few faculty and staff who worked  00:56:00.000 --&gt; 00:57:00.000 in the background in supporting the students to help them get the Center established, you know? And so this was in large part, it was a student-driven thing. Establishing a Black Student Center, it was definitely student driven, but at the same time, it was supported and--it was supported by a lot of our Black faculty and staff on this campus. Jenkins: Okay, awesome. What did the university administration communicate was their vision? You kind of already touched on this, that it was  00:57:00.000 --&gt; 00:58:00.000 mainly education. And was there anything else that they envisioned? Gilmore: Yes. Let me, I'll tell you what, when it comes to the vision, right? I would say that student success was a large part of that. So students actually being successful in their classes and also going on into careers.  00:58:00.000 --&gt; 00:59:00.000 That was a large part of it being in my area ;  whereas, the other piece that they really wanted to be more emphasized was the student engagement piece and the student involvement piece, right? And so that's where you have it moving from Student Academic Support Services over to Student Life. And so now the emphasis, at least in the vision of the institution,  00:59:00.000 --&gt; 01:00:00.000 really wanted to make this more, make the students, the Black Student Center, have more of a student engagement and student life emphasis. I don't--and that's not to say that there's no interest in student success and that that educational aspect is not is no longer a part of that part of that vision. But that's the vision that the institution really wanted to emphasize was the student life and student involvement aspect. Jenkins: Okay. When it came to the creation of the BSC, was there external or institutional pushback, and did you  01:00:00.000 --&gt; 01:01:00.000 experience or witness any pushback on the creation of the Center within the Center or on social media? Gilmore: Well, I can answer the social media question right now. And that is that I didn't see anything on social media for the simple fact that I'm not on social media, so I try to keep my digital footprint pretty light. So I can't speak to what may have been going on social media. But one thing that I can say that I heard repeatedly was doesn't establishing a Black Student Center doesn't that, isn't that encourage more division and more in isolation of our Black students instead of folding them into the fabric  01:01:00.000 --&gt; 01:02:00.000 of the entire campus community? And if we're going to have a Black Student Center, then why not a white student center? That was another thing that I heard. And then another thing that I heard was a worry that other groups might want a center as well. So what if the Asian students start asking for a center and all that kind of stuff and that was the, those were the type--kinds of things that I heard when it came to pushback.  01:02:00.000 --&gt; 01:03:00.000 Yeah. I would just leave it at that, that was, those were the kinds of things that I heard. Jenkins: Okay. Were you at the BSC's grand opening? Gilmore: I was. Jenkins: Okay. What was your experience? Gilmore: I thought that it was a great experience. It was very celebratory experience. There were a lot of people who came out from the community and a lot of different constituents from our community in the area. Were very pleased to see this, the Black Student Center opening, and were actually very involved in what was going on in the Center. And it was one of those things where  01:03:00.000 --&gt; 01:04:00.000 it opened the door to connect with a lot of people in our local service area to interact with our students. And, like one of the things, when you were talking about vision, one of the things we really wanted to do was to create relationships with the schools within our local service area, which extends from San Diego up to Riverside and Orange County. So we were in, we were engaging with schools as far out as  01:04:00.000 --&gt; 01:05:00.000 Hemet and connecting with the BSU’s (Black Student Unions) that they had out there and in, Hemet, Murrieta, and Menifee, and going into Poway and right here in San Marcos and Oceanside and all over the local service area. And we were connecting with Black students and with Black community organizations and with the teachers and administrators and counselors who were working with the different student groups to really establish that connection in an attempt to  01:05:00.000 --&gt; 01:06:00.000 create a pipeline into the University from those entities. And so that was a big part of it. Another part of it was in connecting with community members, one of the things that we also wanted to establish was a pipeline out of the University. And so what we wanted to do was to bring in various community members in different--in a wide range of professions--to come in and talk to the students and provide the, provide insight into different careers  01:06:00.000 --&gt; 01:07:00.000 and in different professional fields for the students to be able to see themselves in those areas. And so that was one of the things that that grand opening really did was allow us to make those, allow us to make those connections and really build on those connections. Another thing that we did was we connected with the North County chapter of the NAACP (National Association for the Advancement of Colored People). We connected with North County chapters of different NPHC (National Pan-Hellenic Council) organizations. So, and have those organizations different, doing different activities with the students on our campus. And one  01:07:00.000 --&gt; 01:08:00.000 of the things that they were doing was in really promoting voting, so that was one just an example of one of the things that the community brought to the table. Another thing that we did was, it was, we connected with the Jack and Jill organization (a membership organization of mothers with children ages 2-19, dedicated to nurturing future African-American leaders), and they ended up having their national conference at CSUSM. So you had all of these Black students from all over, in fact, I saw people from the state of Washington who came in and people who I knew who came in and were a part of that. And it was a  01:08:00.000 --&gt; 01:09:00.000 huge and very empowering experience to see and be a part of. So yeah, those were the things. Jenkins: The more I'm hearing about the grand opening of the BSC, I wish I was there, you know? Gilmore: Yes. Jenkins: We didn't have anything like that at CSUN (California State University Northridge), so it just sounds really amazing. My next question is what has been the impact of the BSC on you personally? Gilmore: The impact of the BSC on me personally. You know, I would say that the impact on me personally  01:09:00.000 --&gt; 01:10:00.000 has been that, I too have been able to receive from the types of educational events that we put on and to learn from those events about things that I didn't know about and so education is, was a big part. Or has been a big part. The other very big part and was being able to connect with the students, you know? And so because I had the Black Student Center in my area then that was one of the places where I would come in and actually spend time with students.  01:10:00.000 --&gt; 01:11:00.000 And I would say that, in my role, student interaction is something that doesn't occur as often as I would like. And so having oversight of the Black Student Center actually gave me the opportunity to interact with our students a whole lot more. And so that would--so those would be those things. And then also, as I mentioned, the connections around the community that were established. Those would be the impacts that the  01:11:00.000 --&gt; 01:12:00.000 Black Center has had on me personally.  Jenkins: Amazing. What do you expect to see next for the BSC? Gilmore: Well, I see the Black Student Center really just going to the next level under the direction of Mr. Rawlins and Dr. Cole-Avent. And really seeing the two of them bring to fruition the kinds of things that we've been talking about here, which is really that student success and also engaging students in those very meaningful  01:12:00.000 --&gt; 01:12:56.000 activities and experiences that would contribute to their success as students and also to their success as professionals as they get ready to graduate and leave this University. Jenkins: (Unintelligible) Are there any questions I should have asked that I didn't? Gilmore: I think you have done an excellent job of asking questions in this interview and I can't think of anything. Jenkins: Awesome. Thank you. Let me see what I have here. Well, thank you for very much for your time today. And thanks for being a part of this project. We all really appreciate it.  NOTE TRANSCRIPTION END  ]]&gt;       https://rightsstatements.org/page/InC/1.0/?language=en       video      Property rights reside with the university. Copyrights are retained by the creators of the records and their heirs. &amp;#13 ;  &amp;#13 ;  This resource is licensed for noncommercial educational use using CC NC-BY 4.0. Please contact Special Collections at archives</text>
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              <text>            6.0                        White, Alex. April 18th, 2024      SC027-082      00:00:00      SC027      California State University San Marcos University Library oral history collection                  CSUSM            csusm      Chamorro (Micronesian people)      Chamorro ; imperialism ; colonization ; culture ; decolonization ; Guam      Alex White      Robert Sheehan      moving image      WhiteAlex_SheehanRobert_2024-04-18.mp4            0            https://archivesoralhistories.csusm.edu/files/original/a8a1f90cbd2908f9886a3aeb3bbc3e4f.mp4              Other                                        video                  This interview is conducted in English and Chamorro                              0          Introduction                                        Oral history interview with Alex White, April 18th, 2024, by Robert Sheehan, Distinct Collections Specialist, University Library, California State University San Marcos.                                                                                    0                                                        ["[\"\"]"]                                                            23          Background and Childhood                                        White discusses his background and childhood growing up in Colorado before moving to California and living on a Miwok reservation. During his time in Colorado, White felt that he was unable to express himself freely due to the homogenous nature of living in a white, Christian, military town. White also talks about how his father was unwilling to speak Chamorro because of his own upbringing where he was beaten in school for speaking his native language.                    Colorado ;  California ;  Chamorro ;  religion ;  military life ;  repression ;  language                                                                0                                                        ["[\"[\\\"[\\\\\\\"[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\"[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\"\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\"]\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\"]\\\\\\\"]\\\"]\"]"]                                                            1137          Returning to Guam                                        Alex talks about his return trip to Guam in 2015 and how that trip sparked his interest in learning more about his Chamorro history and culture.                    Guam ;  Chamorro culture ;  heritage ;  Pacific island history                                                                0                                                        ["[\"[\\\"\\\"]\"]"]                                                            1648          The Impact of Imperialism on Chamorro Culture                                        Alex discusses how the extended periods of colonization and imperialism have affected Chamorro culture. From the Spanish colonization to American imperialism and Japanese occupation, the Chamorro community on Guam has had been forced to demonstrate their cultural resilience for more than 400 years. Colonizing forces have displaced Chamorro communities across the island of Guam and significantly affected everything from their culture, to their language, and how they live their lives.                    colonization ;  imperialism ;  Spanish colonialism ;  American imperialism ;  Japanese occupation ;  Spanish American War ;  World War Two ;  WWII ;  forced march                                                                0                                                        ["[\"\"]"]                                                            2537          Differing Views of "Liberation"                                        Alex talks about the cultural shift that is happening within the Chamorro community in regards to how "Liberation Day," the day that Guam was returned to US control from Japanese military occupation, is seen between elders and younger generations. The elders within the Chamorro community widely view Liberation Day in a positive light, but there is a growing feeling among younger generations that "liberation" really just means re-occupation.                    cultural shift ;  imperialism ;  opression ;  displacement ;  Chamorro culture                                                                0                                                        ["[\"[\\\"\\\"]\"]"]                                                            2968          How Language can Renew the Path to Cultural Healing                                        Alex demonstrates his views on how language can be a tool to reclaim parts of his heritage that imperialism and colonization have attempted to destroy. This is especially important for the Chamorro community because of how the Spanish words and linguistic nuances, like gendered terms, have infiltrated the Chamorro language. Reclaiming the Chamorro language also creates a connection between Alex and his ancestors and solidifies aspects of his religious beliefs.                    language ;  generational trauma ;  decolonization ;  Chamorro culture ;  cultural healing                                                                0                                                        ["[\"[\\\"\\\"]\"]"]                                                            3379          Inafa'maolek                                        Inafa'maolek means in the literal sense to "make good" or "to do well." In the broader sense, Inafa'maolek describes the Chamorro concept of restoring harmony and reciprocity for good deeds and taking care of one another. Alex talks about how this concept is applied by Chamorro people both on Guam and in the Chamorro diaspora.                    community ;  respect ;  reciprocity ;  harmony                                                                0                                                        ["[\"[\\\"\\\"]\"]"]                                                      Oral history      Alex White is a Chamorro activist who experienced a two week long Chamorro immersion program histed by the Prugraman Sinipok organization. In this interview, he speaks on his experiences growing up in Colorado, his engagement with Chamorro culture, and his path to learning the Chamorro language.               NOTE TRANSCRIPTION BEGIN  00:00:00.000 --&gt; 00:00:14.000  So today is July 18th, 2024. My name is Robert Sheehan and I'm here with Alex White for an oral history interview with, California State University San Marcos. How are you doing today, Alex?  00:00:14.000 --&gt; 00:00:16.000  I'm good. Yeah. Grateful to be here.  00:00:16.000 --&gt; 00:00:30.000  Good. We're happy to have you. Thanks for being here with me today, it's really special that we get to do this oral history.  If it's all right, I'd like to start with your childhood and family. Could you tell me a little bit about how you grew up and where you grew up?  00:00:30.000 --&gt; 00:00:34.000  Yeah. Any of it in Chamorro or, or  00:00:34.000 --&gt; 00:00:41.000  Yeah, you can do any of it in Chamorro. We don't necessarily have a Chamorro translator, but if you wouldn't mind translating yourself, that be fine.  00:00:41.000 --&gt; 00:02:07.000  Yeah, absolutely. So, yeah,    So my name is, Tadon Guita Pago. But my American name is Alex -- Alexander Michael White.  I'm currently living in,  on the territory of the Pomo and Miwok people in Santa Rosa, California. But I grew up in Carter Springs, Colorado, and I come from the families of Leon Guerrero White,  from the Village of Manila and Todesco Cruz from the Village of Santa Rita. So I was just like, my somewhat traditional, like Chamorro greeting is like naming like who I am and the family that I, come from. And yeah, so that's, that's the, you have to gimme like, honestly, like my brain's a little foggy, so, I'll need, I'll need more prompting than usual just given the, given my current, yeah.  00:02:07.000 --&gt; 00:02:09.000  Sure. No worries.  00:02:09.000 --&gt; 00:02:11.000  Cognitive, cognitive sharpness, I suppose.  00:02:11.000 --&gt; 00:02:12.000  You bet.  00:02:12.000 --&gt; 00:02:14.000  So,  but yeah, so that's, that's the intro.  00:02:14.000 --&gt; 00:02:16.000  How was it growing up in Santa Rosa?  00:02:16.000 --&gt; 00:02:18.000  So I grew up in Carter Springs.  00:02:18.000 --&gt; 00:02:19.000  Carter Springs.  00:02:19.000 --&gt; 00:04:28.000  I would say being, mixed race, if you will. So my dad is Chamorro and my mom is,  European descent, German and Italian predominantly. And, Carter Springs is known as the Evangelical Vatican, so there's more evangelical Christian churches per capita than anywhere else in the world. And then it's also triangulated by the Air Force Academy, Fort Carson and NORAD (North American Aerospace Defense Command) so it's kind of, a predominantly like white, militant, evangelical community and then growing up with, liberal parents, of, yeah, mixed race. So it was, the landscape was beautiful, but I'd say culturally very isolating. And I didn't, I never met another I Chamorro, my entire time. I had family there, but in saying in school and in the community, aside from Liberation, which is like one of our main, Chamorro holidays, I never, I rarely crossed paths. I never went to school with another Chamorro.  so yeah, it was definitely very isolating and I think part of it being so conservative, as well as being such a, like a military town, as well as my dad's experiences after World War II. Growing up, he identified us as like, I'm American first and Guamanian second. So that's,  and I didn't actually even know the term Chamorro until I was 10 years old.  so I, I identified as Guamanian, but not, not Chamorro until, I was ten. So yeah, so there was, there was beautiful things. My material needs were met.  I always had, you know, stable housing, food, had neighbors who were kind to us. But I'd say like there was a lot of, yeah, there was things that were challenging, I would say.  00:04:28.000 --&gt; 00:04:36.000  Like socio-culturally outside of, outside of like my like inner circle of like friends and, and neighbors. Yeah.  00:04:36.000 --&gt; 00:04:40.000  What sort of challenges did you face other than the isolationism?  00:04:40.000 --&gt; 00:05:53.000  I'd say, the, I think of not being a evangelical Christian was probably like the, the most challenging.  you know, it'd be kind of things like, my dad had a, or maybe it was my parents had a sticker on the back of the car that, had like the Darwin fish that said evolve. And so a car got keyed. You know, it was known that I wasn't that, like we weren't evangelical and so, you know, people leave like bibles on our car or like illustrated guys to salvation, like tucked in. It was also, I'd say like homophobic,  and very heteronormative and, yeah, I think it was, I very much in order to feel safe,  I was perceived as being white cis male and so I never really tried to step outside of that identity just to feel safe. So yeah.  00:05:53.000 --&gt; 00:05:55.000  It sounds like a little difficult growing up.  00:05:55.000 --&gt; 00:06:11.000  Yeah, it was. I, you know, I wouldn't, growing up, I wouldn't say this is difficult. It's just upon reflection there's like a lot of,  yeah, a lot of, yeah. I can reflect upon it as as as very challenging. Yeah.  00:06:11.000 --&gt; 00:06:17.000  Did your father speak any Chamorro in at home or does he speak any Chamorro now?  00:06:17.000 --&gt; 00:08:44.000  No, I, the, the three phrases that I, the only three phases he really taught me were,  . So Hafa Adai is hello. And that's kind of like every Chamorro at least knows Hafa Adai. And then Si Yu'os Ma'ase is, thank you. The literal translation is like "the creator is merciful."  but Si Yu'os Ma'ase is like, our common for thank you.   is the way my dad grew up saying, I love you.  and then Hafa Tatatmanu Hao was like, how are you? I thought as a kid it meant I'm hungry. Please feed me.  Because that was on the, one of the important phrases my dad taught me before he went back to Guam for the first time. So, but no, it, Chamorro was never spoken in the household.  I know there was, Chamorro was a genderless language, and so my dad mixed up, he and she all the time, you know, which my mom found very frustrating and embarrassing. And the, I think my dad was of a generation where, you know, he was, he was beaten for speaking Chamorro, like growing up, like in schools. He was born in (19)41, so for the first 18 years of his life, he only spoke Chamorro at home, but he would go to school where it said English only if he spoke Chamorro, the nuns would beat him. And also his parents saw that in order for, you know, for his, for their children to have the greatest chance of like success and stability, they needed to learn English to get a good job. And to, also just to assimilate into American culture. So he moved to the States when he was 18,  so in 1959 actually in Oceanside. And so from the time he left the island, the only time he spoke Chamorro was like with family and friends, but in the community, he really, he found like an immense sense of pride of being American, growing up. And so, very much just wanted to be American speak American act American get an American job. And so, yeah, so speaking the language like was never really a priority. And I only knew those phrases, and it's not like we ever said it really outside of like, when you like traveled to or preparing to travel to Guam for the first time.  00:08:44.000 --&gt; 00:08:47.000  When did you travel to Guam for the, the first time?  00:08:47.000 --&gt; 00:09:56.000  First time was for Liberation in 1997, so I was 10 years old and actually was like full credit to my mom. She called the University of Guam, you know, it was like pre-internet, you know, really. So like called the University of Guam, and there's an 18 hour time difference. So I don't know if she like woke up early or stayed up late to call them and ordered a book, to be delivered to our house. And, you know, mail in a check , this is oral histories, I'm just telling, you know, like, you know, that's, it was pre, pre transferring to any funds digitally.  And so she had a book delivered and that was, I remember distinctly that my dad was teaching me, like we were learning Chamorro History for the first time, and that's the first time I heard the word Chamorro was when I was 10-year-old, like from that book. But my dad was learning stories about Chamorro history that he had never learned growing up,  'cause he was taught American history, not Chamorro history.  so that was very distinct. And yeah, so we went back for Liberation. So it would've been the third week of July,  1997.  00:09:56.000 --&gt; 00:10:00.000  Is that the first time that you were kind of in a Chamorro community?  00:10:00.000 --&gt; 00:14:28.000  Yes. Yeah, absolutely. I, we, because there's a large military presence, and I believe, you know, you can like factor, but something like, like four out of every five Chamorro, like are enlisted in the, in the military. It's like a very like high enlistment rate for our veterans. Because of the large military presence, there actually was a Chamorro community that existed, you know on base. And so, you know, once a year there would be a Liberation picnic, at a park in Colorado Springs. And so it was there, but that was really, more of like food, you know, it was like, I experienced culturae through food, but I don't have any recollection of the language or necessarily I couldn't, I wouldn't have been able to articulate that as like Chamorro like values or practices. So yeah, going on island, like for the first time, that was very much like the first time I experienced Chamorro culture and like the thing was though, is that I had a older cousin, tell me that because my mom is haole, which is like somewhat derogatory term for like a white person.  not as much as like it is in Hawaii, but nevertheless, it's not like a, you don't want to be a haole , you know, like per se. But,  because my last name is White, which has its own very unique story,  but because my last name was White and my mom was white,  and I'm light skinned, you know, my cousin said like, you're not Chamorro.  and so since then, when I was 10 years old and I had a cousin telling me that, you know, who's like slightly older than me, then I, I thought like, well then I'm not allowed to, you know, I have a cousin telling me that, so I'm not allowed to say I'm Chamorro. So I would, I would say I was like Guamanian to non-Chamorros, but I wouldn't necessarily, if I was in a group of Chamorros, like I wouldn't say I was Chamorro too. Just because I thought, you know, yeah. Not that I had this language at the time, but I don't wanna be like appropriating or posing as Chamorro or like claiming an identity that I didn't have any right to. So yeah, it really wasn't until my early thirties that, I identified as Chamorro. Because of, because of that first time, like going back. I think an another experience that stood out was, that was like the first time I had experience with Taotaomo'na. So those are like our ancestors.  and I remember going to a home that was next to a graveyard, and my dad asking permission, you know, for us to enter like doing like a kinda like indigenous protocol for entering like that type of space. And I remember going and then like feeling like picked up and like lifted up like as a kid. So that was like, those are like some of the, the things that I remember like standing out, like there was. And then the other was, that we were, my dad was, you know, it had been probably, let's see, he left in (19)59. They came back for their wedding one time. So it probably been about 15 years since he'd been, like, he went in (19)59, came back in the eighties (1980s) from my, my parents' honeymoon. And then it wasn't again until like (19)97. 'cause the thing is, it's, you know, there's like only one airline that goes there, and so they have a monopoly. So like nowadays it's $2,000, but you can kind of like adjust that for inflation. It's not, not like a quick, easy, affordable trip to go back. And so, you know, my parents were, working class and so it's not like we had the funds and there's actually like a story that goes with that, but I was just like, focus on that. But my dad was lost, like looking for directions on Guam. And, I just remember like, when you stop and ask people for directions, you know, they were like, oh, hey, come and eat, come and eat, you know, so, which is just very Inafa'maolek (striving for harmony). It's like our, our,  like the Chamorro people are very generous and reciprocal and giving. And so that like stood out to me of like these complete strangers inviting us in to feed us food. So yeah, those are some of the, the memories from our first time.  00:14:28.000 --&gt; 00:14:37.000  Very cool. What caused you to want to kind of reconnect with your culture?  And learn Chamorro and become and identify as Chamorro?  00:14:37.000 --&gt; 00:16:51.000  Yeah, I would say, a couple things. First was that my dad had 12 siblings. Two that died during the forced march to concentration camp, on Guam. So they never survived infanthood. And I had two, my auntie Cindy and my uncle Danny passed away while I was in college. But around 2016, between 2016 and 2023, I lost my uncle Jesse, auntie Terry, auntie Annie,  aunt Dorothy and uncle Vince. So I lost five of my dad's siblings. And so, especially after my aunt Dorothy, my dad became like the eldest surviving in his family. And the only one who like spoke Chamorro, his younger siblings, Agnes and David, they grew up, kinda like English first rather than like Chamorro first.  and then they moved to the states when they were young, still in school. So they went to school, in the US. And so my dad was like the, the last of his, like his family, his lineage to speak Chamorro. And so just like, there's an enormous amount of grief around not learning more of the language. You know, there's, there's that saying that like, every time an elder passes, a library burns down. And so, so many of our families stories, passed with my aunties and uncles who passed in like, such a concentrated point of time, you know, it was just kind of like one after the other. So that was, you know, definitely motivated by that, of like, man, you don't have, like, you know, I felt like, at the time I very much felt like, like sand that was like trying to hold onto sand and it just like falling from my fingers of like not getting that, getting those stories while they were still here with us.  00:16:51.000 --&gt; 00:18:17.000  The other was just going through,  you know, kind of feeling spiritually malnourished, like trying to make sense of this world and my place in it. And, unfortunately got involved in some like, new age spiritual communities that didn't have good, spiritual hygiene. Did not necessarily, like appropriated practices without knowing the protocol or, consulting with elders. And just seeing a lot of harm, as a result of that. And it was connecting with other spiritual practitioners of, like indigenous, spiritual practitioners. And, I had like a specifically like a mentor Luna Pantera, who I like see as a spiritual counselor from the African diaspora had a saying that, like, you need to, you need to connect with your ancestral roots, otherwise, the coming storm will sweep you away. And so just kind of seeing where we're going, like in the larger, you know, sociopolitical, economic, conflict and chaos, , it feels like we're like, especially 2016 of how do we ground ourselves?  00:18:17.000 --&gt; 00:18:57.000  And so like trying to develop an ancestral reverence like lineage practice, was was part of that journey of like really wanting to reconnect. And then also returning to Guam in 2015, with my siblings and my dad. And so like returning to the island and, and learning more of the history, in my adulthood, was really like another like another major catalyst for wanting to return to that. And yeah, so those are like, those are some, we'll take like a breath for you to ask my questions from there because it's like a lot.  00:18:57.000 --&gt; 00:19:01.000  Yeah. On that.  so could you tell me about the trip in 2015?  00:19:01.000 --&gt; 00:20:14.000  Yeah, that was the, that was like the first and maybe last time that, my siblings and all of their kids, and my dad all would go to Guam together. And so we went for Liberation again. But that time I was, very much like wanting to learn about, like, about our history outside of, you know, like you grow up kind of like on, like I grew up really only knowing the story of the, of World War II and the Americans coming to liberate, Guam. That's like really kind of, the extent of what I knew about that. And so returning, I was trying to learn about what our practices were, like, what our history was prior to not only like the Americans, but like pre-colonization.  and so, you know, I bought a,  ancient Chamorro Society book, and was reading about that, just like very hungry for all of that.  00:20:14.000 --&gt; 00:21:47.000  And, man, I'm trying to remember. I think, and we also like went to,  oh my God, I'm forgetting the name. It's in the south in Inarajan. Oh my God, I'm embarrassed. This is on his, that there's a village in the south, I think it's Inarajan that is near a cave. But, where it was like set up like a, it's not an actual ancient Chamorro village, but it was set up like a ancient Chamorro village. So, going through those practices and,  and then also of like talking like of having the awareness that you don't have when you're ten of like, of speaking to elders. So I would go and like, visit the elders and ask them stories about like their past and their history, and, visiting my dad's, like our family's old house and our village, and really just very, very hungry to understand, understand my people because I was, you know, at that point I was, let's see, like twenty, twenty-seven, no, anyways, I was in my mid-twenties at that point. And so just like to be in your mid-twenties and still like questioning and like wouldn't be able really to explain anything about my, like where my people come from,  I think was,  yeah, I was like was very much like inspired, by that, like by that trip.  00:21:47.000 --&gt; 00:21:59.000  How has Chamorro culture changed from pre-colonization to colonization to Japanese occupation, to liberation to US...  00:21:59.000 --&gt; 00:23:28.000   How much time we got  how, you know, it's, it's a miracle that like, we're here. You know, I'd say there's, there like our Hinengge, like our values, there's certain values that have survived like throughout the arc of,  all of that, you know, I'd say like our, our values of like Inafa'maolek, so like of our kind of social reciprocity and mutual aid and like, I will support you and take care of you like when you're in need right now, because I know one day I'll be in need and like, you'll take care of me. Like that, that type of, that type of reciprocity that has survived amidst like, all of those changes like that, that cultural, like tenet is there.  and I'd say like,  , so like showing respect for, for elders, but as well as children. Like going both ways and just like a reverence for, you know, caring for those who are older than you, even if they're not your, even if you're not blood related, like they're your family, your community, like you take care of each other.  you know. Mamahlao is like having, to have shame, like seeing that as like a good thing to like,  Guaiya that's like the cultural value of love, like, and loving for each other. So those, there's certain values that have survived.  00:23:28.000 --&gt; 00:24:33.000  And I'd say like really we're, it's kind of, it's existed in different forms, but of, of like our ancestral like reverence practices, our relationship with the land. And, you know, the foods that we make,  those have all have survived, but so much has been lost, during, when the, I guess I mean, just to, just to kind of like set the context, like we were like the first first people to people, the Pacific. And so, you know, roughly 4,000 years ago, our ancestors from back then, like were at the edge, like maybe it was Taiwan, maybe it was the Philippines, probably not Indonesia, but maybe it was like one of those, like one of those points they were like on the, like eastern shoreline, like looking out over the Pacific, and they wondered like what was on the other side of that water.  00:24:33.000 --&gt; 00:25:36.000  And so they, they carved a canoe by hand and filled, without any refrigeration, like filled their canoe with food and said goodbye to everyone they knew, not knowing if they would ever see anybody ever again. And just by like following the stars, like reading the stars and the pattern of the waves,  [they] paddled east to try to find another land. And that's what they found this little 24 mile long island. And, actually it's like the birds that are like on the bill of my hat, the story goes that like they saw birds and so they knew if there was a bird, that there was land as they actually like followed the bird, like to Guam. So just thinking of like that and then creating this, creating this culture where like, you know, of course there was conflict, but there would be, it was like only amongst like the warrior class, and as soon as like one person was harmed, like, then it was over, like the conflict ended.  00:25:36.000 --&gt; 00:26:38.000    and that all of our, our people, you know, that we had, we had healers, we had like Yo'amte, you know, like our medicine people who healed both like physical and spiritual ailments and used plants and, you know, I'm pretty sure the thing goes like is that people like live to be a hundred, and there was really an absence of like any disease and we had, you know, fresh water, we had birds that didn't exist anywhere else in the world. Like all these different, you know, it was like, it was like a paradise, you know, like of course there's conflict, you know, because there's human beings on there. And also there's these stories from like other indigenous tribes, like the, the Haida Gwaii, like the First Nations,  who are like north of kwakwaka'wakw like of them, going across to like Taiwan and then down to New Zealand and everything like that.  00:26:38.000 --&gt; 00:27:39.000  So like they, they went amongst other islands, like there was like international relations, but it was,  there's like reciprocity and like sharing and that it was that way for like 3,500 years. Oh, also like the Latte Stone, like,  it's like a really amazing thing. It's kind of like the Maria as islands versions of Easter Island, you know, it's these huge, these structures that like were carved that weigh thousands of pounds that they don't know how they moved these type of things. But that's like, we built our houses on top of those things. So there's things that are like, it's a very thriving, incredible culture that existed. And then, Guam was like the first one to be, colonized by like a European colony. So like in the, what was it like 1521 I think was when Magellan landed there.  00:27:39.000 --&gt; 00:28:31.000  And you can like, I don't even wanna be telling like this story, you know, I'll just like, like share some of my stuff. But,  you know, like, like say like my ninth great grandfather, say he was like eight or nine, like when the Spanish arrived, by the time he was 64, he was seen nine out of the 10 Chamorro people perish, either through like the Chamorro Spanish war or disease, you know, that the Spanish brought. And so just to think like, you know, my ninth great grandparents like survived a genocide, and to see nine out of the 10 of everyone they knew die, you know, like either killed or died. And just to, you know, that's like when they talk about like ancestral intergenerational trauma like that, like exists in our bones, like my bones are made of my ancestors that survive that.  00:28:31.000 --&gt; 00:29:37.382   But that also, like, for us, it's like both trauma, but really trying to focus more on like the resilience of like, we still kept our culture alive, you know, amidst surviving, like that type of genocide. So there's like the Spanish period, which lasted from the 1500s to the1900s, and then the Spanish American War and just as imperialists do, you know, when America won the war, then the treat of Paris of 1898 was when, America "won" Guam like a trophy, but it's because it's one of the largest islands that far west in the Pacific. Like, it's the western most colony of America. It's incredibly strategically significant and important for imperial military operations. So it's like really significant. So then there's like the naval period, which is when my grandmother grew up.  00:29:37.382 --&gt; 00:30:57.905  So like in the early 18, early 1900s , late 1800s, early 1900s,  my grandmother and Gracia Tedasco Cruz, was growing up and yeah, so it was like, it wasn't run by the US government, it was like run by the, the Navy. And, just the way, like one of the stories that I connected with that is that like my dad is like, you know, he, he jokes about it as like the curse of the dirty corners, but it's like where like he always has to have, like, he can never leave the house. Like all the counters like have to be clean and like, even the corners have to be washed. And so I kind of like, it's, the way that manifests is like for me too is like there's like kind of this like low grade anxiety if things are cluttered or messy at home, because my dad always kept everything like super clean and he got that from his mom.  00:30:57.905 --&gt; 00:31:15.000  But for his, like for my grandma Gracia, like my Nanan biha , like the Navy would come and do inspections of like Chamorro's houses, you know? And so if you have a Navy officer like coming in, in uniform inspecting the cleanliness of your house, like you have to keep it clean, like military standards type of thing. And so as a young girl, having this, like this, you know, white man in a uniform come in threatening, aggressive, like, you came in and clean, like you're gonna keep your house a certain level of clean. So those are just like small, like, you know, there's like kind of these like abstract academic things, but that's like the way, you know, it kind of like shows up.  00:31:15.000 --&gt; 00:31:16.000  And they weren't in the military at all?  00:31:16.000 --&gt; 00:31:21.000  No, no, no. They were, they were just living on their land, their ancestors had for thousands of years.  00:31:21.000 --&gt; 00:32:28.000  But, you know, you know, that's just the settler colonial mindset is like, "I am here to like dominate and impose my culture and my rules and my regulations on these people." You know, one of the things that I get I think about a lot too is like before the Navy were there, I mean, yeah, Spanish, like I think the Spanish imposed some type of taxes, but like when the US arrived, they started, having the Chamorro people pay taxes on their own land that they had lived on for thousands of years. And that was like the thing I just think about for my grandparents is like, they didn't pay for food, they didn't pay for water, they didn't pay for shelter and they didn't pay for healthcare. Because like, all of that comes from the land naturally, the earth gives us that, you know, , it's like we, it's like, you know, a tree's not gonna charge us for harvesting it, you know, like our responsibility is to steward that land is to care for it, you know, so that, that those things can survive.  00:32:28.000 --&gt; 00:33:20.000  But, and you would like for the, for the So'ampti  and the Suruhanu , like you gave them food as like an expression of gratitude, so you take care of them so they can continue to do, you know, you help harvest their medicine, but you're not, you're not bringing money. There's actually, like, it's really bad juju to like give money to like a healer because that's like, that's seen as like, you know, there's, there's a lot of negative energy that's associated with like, that type of transactional thing. Like, you wouldn't, like, why would you ever pay someone to heal you? Like you're healing them because they need healed, you know?  but I think it's, I really try to impart on like young people, like, like young indigenous people, and especially like young people like in the Pacific diaspora and Chamorros is like, it's not that long ago.  00:33:20.000 --&gt; 00:34:20.000  Like the way that we're living right now is not the only mode of existence. Like, it's not like capitalism is like the highest potential of our human expression, you know? It was not that long ago. It was like in our grandparents and great grandparents generation, which is less than 150 years ago where they didn't have to pay for food and for water and for shelter and healthcare. It's not that long ago. And so another way of living does exist. It's in our lineage and everything like that. But yeah, so when theUS came, like the Navy came, they were trying to diminish the influence of the Spanish missionaries, Catholicism, just freaking wreaked havoc on our island too. But the Catholic priests held like enormous kind of sway and power.  00:34:20.000 --&gt; 00:35:18.000  And so in a way to diminish their power,  trying to lessen it,  the naval officers came in and burned all the Chamorro-English dictionaries. And the sentiment at the time too was that like, if you spoke Chamorro and English, you only had half a brain in each. And so, like, people were stupid. People were looked down on for being bilingual, you know, it's like if like English is the "most superior" language. Also, there's a thing called like the Insular cases from 1901, which is [where]  the Supreme Court said that these unincorporated territories like Guam, like Puerto Rico are an alien race that can't understand Anglo-Saxon principles, which is why they don't have rights. Which that Supreme Court case is still why, like is that's still today.  00:35:18.000 --&gt; 00:36:26.000   It's not like, that's not ancient history. Like that is still like a Supreme Court ruling. That is how our islands are governed. So that's like a lot. But, so they come in and they degrade and exploit and take advantage and control and extract the resources from our land. And then the same day that, so my dad was born,  November 7th, 1941. And so he was a month old that the same day that Japan bombed Pearl Harbor [it] was also the same day they invaded Guam.  But the US had intelligence around that, so they evacuated the US military members, but those US military members weren't allowed to bring their Chamorro families with them. So they're just like, they're like, "You're on your own Chamorros!" I mean like, "Good luck!" you know, like, "We know Japan's coming, but like, we just gotta get our white military people outta here and like fend for yourselves!"  00:36:26.000 --&gt; 00:37:35.000  And so yeah, my dad was like, a month old, like when it happened. And so then it was, they were under a Japanese rule, which was, and there was some ways, some ways that it was like a little better than the US but most ways it was, it was, cruel and just like an immense amount of suffering that like, I don't necessarily have the energy to unpack, you know, at 10:00 in the morning. You know, the one story I'll tell is like when the, US military campaign was coming to reclaim, you know, like they're doing their,  their Pacific theater of like going to...  the military campaign to take back those territories and to fight back the Japanese Imperial Army. The Japanese were afraid, like, were afraid that the Chamorro people would side with the Americans, that there would be like that loyalty and allegiance to America, and that they would help the Americans as they came in.  00:37:35.000 --&gt; 00:38:34.000  And so they gathered up all of the Chamorros that they could find, you know, and did a forced march to the Manenggon concentration camp. So my whole family, my dad was three or four [years old] having to do a forced march, no food, no water, middle of the summer, so like nineties [degrees Fahrenheit] humid.  And that's what, so my, my auntie Anna, my Aunt Anna and my aunt Maria, I think they were like probably less than two [years old], twins. They were twins and they were being carried. And, during that forced marched the first, one of the first twins, passed away because they didn't, because of those really severe conditions. And,  the Japanese guard made my grandparents just leave her on the side of the road.  00:38:34.000 --&gt; 00:39:44.000  And,  and then a few miles later, the second twin passed away and my grandpa, so we have a belief, with like a, a very... I'm gonna try to like tell this part... but basically he didn't, it was important to him that they not be alone. And so he, took a major risk and when he saw, a wasp nest, a hornet's nest, stuck his foot in it so his foot would swell up and he risked that so it looked like he basically said like, "I can't walk anymore," to the Japanese guard.  and they could have just shot him on the spot. They did that to a lot of [people], but they figured that he would just perish. And so when night came, he walked back, to the first twin that died and buried them together, on the side of the road so they wouldn't be alone.  00:39:44.000 --&gt; 00:40:32.000  And then he went and rejoined his family and they lived in a concentration camp without food or water or shelter, just in the jungle. With violence that I've never experienced or witnessed. And that is very difficult for our elders to even talk about. So yeah, that was,  and that's something that's not really taught outside, I mean, it is kind of known about, but it's not really taught much.  That experience of like what the Chamorro people suffered in that concentration camp.  00:40:32.000 --&gt; 00:40:34.000  Would you like to take a short break?  00:40:34.000 --&gt; 00:40:38.000  Ah, no. . I'll just, I'll take a water. Yeah, I'll take a sip of water.  00:40:38.000 --&gt; 00:40:44.000  Okay.  that's such a traumatic experience.  00:40:44.000 --&gt; 00:41:31.000  Yeah, and it just like, it, I think, you know, there's like our, it's traumatic and it just shows like our traumatic and our resilience that we could, you know, I think that's like any time that I, I'm going through like a hard time, I'm actually planning to get a tattoo, like next time I go back to Guam of,  of a hornet's nest, like on my ankle,  of the hive and, and it say , which in Chamorro means  "this is the way" just like you'll do the right thing and you'll take care of like, of your family and your people.  00:41:31.000 --&gt; 00:42:26.000  Like, whatever. It's like a communal thing. It's like, not about me, it's about us, you know? And so I just have that, yeah, I think that's like probably like one of like the strongest stories that lives in me,  that I got from my family, and I just feel like, [it] is important to share. But yeah, so then the Americans came and they just, carpet bombed the whole island. They indiscriminately, you know, they didn't really care if there was Chamorros there, they were, they were just trying to kill as many Japanese as possible, so they leveled the whole island. And then for my dad, so it is absolutely the, like, the living conditions, the acute violence and trauma that the Chamorro people experienced under Japanese rule is like, there's no question about that.  00:42:26.000 --&gt; 00:43:25.000  And so in terms of like being liberated from a concentration camp, yes, that is an accurate term. So that's what our Liberation day was like when the Americans arrived and liberated the Chamorros from the concentration camp. But that's what my dad's generation calls it. You know, the elders and yeah, if you're living in those conditions, and you have these Americans come in and they give you candy and you're gonna just be so patriotic, you know. You're free from Japanese rules. So that's where so much of the, there was a legitimate like love and reverence for the US military, especially the Marine Corps, like those who arrived. I mean, that's like one of our main roads on [Guam] is like Marine Corps Drive. So there's like a, almost borderline worship of the US military because of that,  for my dad's generation.  00:43:25.000 --&gt; 00:44:45.000  However, my generation sees it as... we call like Reoccupation day, because the US military came and took over two thirds of the island. You know,  like stole the land from our ancestors. As we speak, they're, you know, clearing football fields, like multiple football fields of our ancient villages and our ancient burial grounds. They're like, our ancestors' bones are just in paper bags in military offices. One of our most sacred island or sacred parts of the island, the ,  because of the US military, you know, this is July, 2024. Like because of the enormous amount of violence that Okinawa people have experienced in Japan and the years of resistance of trying to get the military off of there. They're moving the US military service members from Okinawa to Guam, and they're setting up a firing range, over, you know, our ancient caves like a, a place [where] an eight spotted butterfly and this flower that don't exist anywhere else in the world or anywhere else on the island.  00:44:45.000 --&gt; 00:45:46.000  This like precious, like limestone jungle that doesn't, that is like this precious one of a kind only place in the world ecosystem. They're putting in, a live firing range and doing war games and detonating,  detonating, like the, it is like the, also like their way of getting rid of ammunition and things they fire from World War II and just military equipment they're not doing [anyhting with] is literally like creating like a burn pit. They're just like putting old bombs and toxic chemicals and like lighting it on fire, like on the beach, next to an aquifer that supplies 70% of the island's fresh water. You know, so like when we , when we say "liberation", you know it's a complicated term. 'Cause of course we're gonna honor our, our elders experience for like being liberated from that and are grateful to the young men who sacrificed their lives to free my elders and relatives from those oppressive conditions.  00:45:46.000 --&gt; 00:46:20.000  And what is also true is like,  it's not like we got our land back, you know?  and so like we've never gotten that land back. Like we can't even go, Sumay [destroyed village in Guam] is like, you know, some of my family, we're not even able to go pay our respects to, you know, they, it's called like Sumay Day. Like, I think once a year people are allowed to go to like pay the respects to their elders, you know?  So yeah it's very complicated. And, you know, if we had more time, I could even dig into that, but I'll take a breath and see what what questions are coming up for you.  00:46:20.000 --&gt; 00:46:34.000  Yeah. Sounds like all that is a very emotionally complicated feeling to have on one hand, Liberation day for your elders and the new generation is saying it's Reoccupation day and having to walk that fine line  00:46:34.000 --&gt; 00:47:33.000  . And we'd never say that to our elders, to the face, like ever, you know. But amongst us, you know, and it's, oh man. I was, I was there for Liberation Day  in 2022 and actually for the first iteration of this Prugraman Sinipok, and man, it's just like, because they just parade all of the military equipment they have there, you know, and they're not shy about it at all. You know, they call it like "America's largest aircraft carrier." It's like how they refer to our island.  and, you know, it just, it's,  it's so militarized and unfortunately because you have that, because the military occupies like two thirds of the island, really the only two industries are like the military and tourism, you know, and also 'cause of the Jones Act.  00:47:33.000 --&gt; 00:48:26.000  Like, we're not allowed to like import food from other countries, you know, it's the same thing as what happens with the Puerto Rico. So, you know, it's like, even though we're so close to China and Indonesia and like all of that, all of our food has to be imported from America. And so that's why like, a gallon of milk is like 10 bucks or something, you know, . It's insane. But because there's all that like markup, you know, the Chamorro people like, yes, we're like US citizens, but we don't have any representation. We have a representative to Congress, but they don't have any voting power.  and so, you know, if you, you pay the taxes, you pay for this expensive food to be imported from America, you don't have control over your own land or your own water or your food.  00:48:26.000 --&gt; 00:49:29.000  You know, there's all of that sloganeering of like, "land of the free, because of the brave." You know, it's like the military gives our freedom's. But how free? How free are we if we don't have any sovereignty? If we don't have any say. Also because we're a pawn, you know. North Korea is always talking about like, if they're gonna shoot a missile, that's the first thing they're gonna bomb is Guam. You know, it's like we're a pawn piece in larger imperial conflicts. It's not like Guam has any hostile relations to the Korean people, or like the Chamorro people don't have any hostilities towards China, you know, but because of the US military being there, we're caught in the middle of this larger imperial conflict. So, yeah.  00:49:29.000 --&gt; 00:49:33.000  Can I shift gears, and talk about language for a second,  00:49:33.000 --&gt; 00:49:34.498  Please? Yeah.  00:49:34.498 --&gt; 00:49:43.000  Is language a way that the Chamorro people can regain part of that agency that might have been lost through colonization or occupation?  00:49:43.000 --&gt; 00:50:58.000  Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Language is, I think language is the one of the most critical things we can do for cultural preservation and revitalization. Because there's so much of our values and our history that are woven in the language that could be lost. I have a Coast Miwok [Indigenous tribe in California] friend who, their last fluent elder passed in the seventies [1970s]. And so if they're wanting to learn Miwok, Coast Miwok, they're just listening to recordings of like, you know -- [I'm] thankful for people like yourselves who preserve that type of thing. And like, I don't ever wanna see, you know -- I will have failed the, I would have failed to fulfill the responsibility my ancestors have given me if my descendants, generations from now, are only able to hear Chamorro spoken through oral history collections, in libraries. We need to keep the language alive, you know, in like canonical terms, it is like in academic canonical terms, it's extinct.  00:50:58.000 --&gt; 00:52:01.000  Because we only have like 20,000 speakers left in the world, and probably over 60% of those are like over the age of 80, you know, they're like my dad's generation. And so this is like an absolute critical time for us to be doing this language revitalization, and preservation and revitalization. You know, one of the things, one of the complicated things too is because we had four centuries of Spanish colonization, so much of our language has Spanish influence. So there's a lot of words. So gender comes in [from the Spanish], you know, so like saying,  Maestro, Maestra, you know, instead of like, those are gender terms of like a teacher [in Spanish], but in Chamorro it's like Fafa'na'gue, you know, it's like someone who teaches and it's gender neutral. You know, there's, there's things like that in terms of like, of preserving, you know, our, our concepts of gender neutrality.  00:52:01.000 --&gt; 00:53:03.000  I mean, one is that, you know, there's like Nana and Tata, like those are inherited terms,  because prior to colonization, you know, there was, Saina was an elder, Che'lu was a sibling, and then like Patgon was a child. And so yes, you had a biological mother and father, but every elder was responsible for like caring for the children, you know, and every person your age was your sibling. And so there's that type of like, yes, that's language, but there's a worldview that exists, within understanding that framework, of like, just because we're not blood doesn't mean -- whether you're my blood relative or not, you're still an elder that I respect that I can go to, that I can count on that I also have a responsibility of caring for. Another example, you know, for Spanish, like paz is, you know, like if you're looking up like in the dictionary, like probably like the word for peace in Chamorro, but that's, that's inherited from Spanish.  00:53:03.000 --&gt; 00:54:16.000  But [speaking in Chamorro language] that's actually like the, [speaking Chamorro language]  means like "from the land." That's like the, the root of all of our Chamorro language that existed pre colonization. Hinagung is I believe breath. And so [speaking in Chamorro language] is peace. And so just like to understand those cultural concepts of like, we find peace in our breath, you know, there's, there's just these really deep spiritually culturally significant things that,  come with like learning the language that -- and there's things just like, you know, the way I'm trying to parse the concepts of like mutual aid and reciprocity, like those are like the closest things that we can try to use English to explain, but there's a felt sense of Inafa'maolek like an, Inafa'maolek of like caring for each other. That is a felt embodied value and practice, cultural practice, that you can't get from speaking English.  00:54:16.000 --&gt; 00:55:20.000  It's just, it's so critical that we learn the language and keep it alive and teach it to -- And then for me, so that's just in terms of like, in this realm, like in like of thinking ancestral reverence practices, that's another major reason I was motivated to learn the language is like I almost lost my dad in 2019. And part of my belief system is that, is to do that ancestral lineage healing is that we need to like call upon our like, well and elevated ancestors, so our ancestors that didn't experience any of this intergenerational trauma, and we ask them for their blessings to come down the lineage to heal everybody in between like me as the anchor and them as the well and elevated ancestor for us to heal that lineage. And you know, like, yes, there, I think there's prayers can be said and felt in a spiritual -- can be expressed in a spiritual sense and understood in a spiritual sense.  00:55:20.000 --&gt; 00:56:18.000  And I think there's a critical, a thing that I, I won't even be able to explain until I become an ancestor myself, of praying,  for ancestors in our mother language that just, you know. So for me, as I prepare for my dad to transition, 'cause he's 83, you know.We're all ancestors in training, and his training is nearing an end, you know?  I feel responsibility to be able to call upon the ancestors in Chamorro, you know, and ask for them to support my dad's, like transition into that realm, you know. To make his transition welcoming and peaceful and loving and easeful as easeful as possible that I living in this realm can like, help support facilitate with.  00:56:18.000 --&gt; 00:56:29.000  I know we're running short on time, so I might ask one more question. Does [attempts to say Inafa'maolek ] extend across the diaspora, the Chamorro diaspora?  00:56:28.989 --&gt; 00:58:20.000  And so that's, that's him practicing Inafa'maolek in the diaspora. And you know, there's people who, you know, they'll see that and reciprocate, but a lot of times because that's not honored here, I think that's where a lot of Chamorros can struggle in the diaspora. Is when Inafa'maolek is not reciprocated. But, absolutely like if you see another Chamorro and they have Inafa'maolek in their heart, they will like take you in. And if I see any, I mean, that's part of me doing this interview right now is for that like Inafa'maolek of like hoping that someone watching this, you know, another Chamorro in that diaspora knows that we're here for you, you know, like Inafa'maolek exists in diaspora. You don't have to be back home for your people to care for you.  00:56:29.000 --&gt; 00:56:28.989  Yeah. Yeah. I would say Inafa'maolek exists in the diaspora. That's kind of what you can -- for the like -- one way that I  a quick story to tell about it was my dad was practicing Inafa'maolek, when he was a mechanic. So he really struggled [with] seeing mechanics take advantage of people, you know. Like up charging them for services they didn't need. So he started his own business and that there was a lot of conflict between my mom and dad.  'Cause she was the accountant, my dad was the mechanic. And, you know, if there was say like a starving college student or a single mom, he would go to the junkyard, find the part used, and then just charge at cost for the part and not charge any labor because they knew that mom needed her car to get to that job to feed her kids.  00:58:20.000 --&gt; 00:59:33.000  And like, if you need support, we're here for you just need to call on us. Like, and we'll be there to support you, because, you know, one day we'll be in need of support and you'll support us, you know? So yeah, absolutely. Like Inafa'maolek is like the theme that unites us, like across all the diaspora. Actually I'll just like, if we got time. Yeah. Even during Typhoon Mawar, so that was the typhoon that hit last year [2023].  Man, if I had the statistics, we started like Inafa'maolek mutual aid and just within, you know, a few weeks we were able to get, two shipping containers full of water, clothes, generators, all of these needs that our relatives in the islands told us. Like we were able to get supplies to the most underserved communities on the island, before FEMA [Federal Emergency Management Agency] was able to even disperse like one emergency payment. And so, yeah, I know for a fact that Inafa'maolek is one of the things that unites us anywhere we are in the world. I think if there's like, if, if our people know that you're in need, like we will, like we'll be there for you.  00:59:33.000 --&gt; 00:59:40.000   That's great. Thank you so much for taking the time to sit down and, and talk to me today. Is there anything else you'd like to say before we end the interview?  00:59:40.000 --&gt; 01:00:49.000  Oh, man. Yeah, the thing I'll just say is like, it's, I think, one of the things that really -- , I think both on island and [speaking Chamorro] like in the diaspora where they struggle with is feeling like Chamorro enough. I think just like if any Chamorro, any indigenous student, any Pacific Islander, and especially like any Chamorro, like if you're feeling like you're not indigenous enough, you're not feeling Chamorro enough, I just want you to know that like, that is the voice of the colonizer that -- I promise you're Chamorro enough, you're indigenous enough. Just you existing and you having your ancestors in your bones, you are enough.  01:00:49.000 --&gt; 01:01:44.000  It doesn't matter. Blood quantum is a control tactic of the colonizers, you know?  It doesn't matter how much blood you have, how light your skin is, how much language you speak, if you know how to make our food. You have that in your bones alone and you having those Chamorro values in your heart, that makes you Chamorro. That makes you indigenous. So, you know, don't believe the lies. Don't believe what any of those external forces that -- you know. You can just -- if you need that support, reach out to your community and ask the ancestors for that support. Because you are enough and you have so much to be proud of.  01:01:44.000 --&gt; 01:03:01.000  We have an incredible -- the fact that you're listening to this. The fact that you're listening to this and that you're here is a testament to our resilience. And so you are our ancestors wildest dreams. And so like whatever you choose, whatever path you choose, whatever you do in your life, just know that your ancestors are with you and your community's with you, and they have your back and you're never alone. And yeah, the last thing I'll say is [speaking in Chamorro language] which is like the Creator is the Creator and we are people.  so just, you know, there's only so much that we can control in this room. There's so many other things that are happening outside of like our mortal perception.  So just calling the creator, and you know, calling your ancestors and calling your community for support. And I think actually we have time. I'll just like end in a chant.  and this comes from,  Si Jeremy Cepeda, and so this is called Manetnon Hit.  01:03:01.000 --&gt; 01:04:02.000  Manetnon hit guini på’go, Na ta tuna si Ásaina, i Yahúlulo’, Nu i gef fina’tinås-ña siha, Nu i lina’lå’-ta, nu iya hita, Nu i mañaina-ta, nu i pa’å’-ta siha, Nu i guinahå-ta, Yan hókkokok ayu ni ha na’guahåyi hit, Taiguenao Mohon  01:04:02.000 --&gt; 01:04:06.000  [We come together here today, To praise the Creator, the Most High, For all of the great things they have done, For our lives, for each other, For our elders/ancestors, for our ancestral words of wisdom, For the things that we have, And for all of the things that the Creator provided for us, And so shall it be (Amen)]  01:04:06.000 --&gt; 01:04:08.954  Thank you Alex. We really appreciate your time today.  01:04:08.954 --&gt; 01:04:09.000  Absolutely. Yeah. Thanks for, thank you for doing this.  01:04:09.000 --&gt; 01:04:10.000  Absolutely.  01:04:10.000 --&gt; 01:14:34.000  Appreciate your work.  NOTE TRANSCRIPTION END  ]]&gt;       https://rightsstatements.org/page/InC/1.0/?language=en      video      Property rights reside with the university. Copyrights are retained by the creators of the records and their heirs. This resource is licensed for noncommercial educational use using CC NC-BY 4.0. Please contact Special Collections at archives</text>
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